What makes a “good” family?

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Proverbs 19

13 A foolish son is the ruin of his father,

And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.

14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,

But a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Where does a “good” family come from? How can we have a “good” family? There are many opinions about the answer to these questions. First, we would need to define the word ‘good’ so we can agree on the goal. In this passage, a foolish son (child) can be the ruin of his father and a contentious, arguing wife is continual pain to the whole family. So, a “good” family would not have foolish children causing shame nor an arguing wife who brings continual misery.

As a parent of many years, I can attest to the pain of a foolish child. When children act in foolishness the parents grieve. As parents, we learned quickly that control was an illusion. Our kids were going to do as they wanted and we were there to guide them, pray for them, and to try to keep them from failure. When they resisted our wisdom, we felt like we were the failures.

In verse 14 it is established that one’s father can give them a house and an inheritance of riches, but if a man ends up with a prudent wife, one who walks in love and wisdom, she is a gift from the Lord. No, I did not choose my wife, God gave her to me. Honestly men, do you really think that you wooed her to want you? If you have a good wife, she was God’s gift to you.

In pulling these two Proverbs together, we can synthesize that a “good” family begins with a husband and wife that the Lord brings together. Our families are not the result of our upbringing but are God’s gift to us. Psalm 127:3 tells us that our children are God’s heritage to us; the fruit of the womb is his reward. So, a “good” family is the result of God’s kindness shown to us. When we understand this, we will rely upon Him for every aspect of marriage and family. We will go to Him with our family problems and our struggles. We will seek God’s wisdom in our marriage and in our parenting. A “good” family begins and continues both thanking God and trusting God knowing that apart from Him we are lost and doomed to suffer the pains of selfishness and rebellion.

Please pray for a 17-year-old boy who is facing the consequences of his foolishness. He has a short time to turn his life around before many things collapse around him. His parents know the Lord and we are all banded in prayer this week.


Have a great day in the Lord,


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