by Kit Schroeder
I want our “first love” to live on forever. How can this happen?
What can I do to please my husband, so that our love continues to grow more and more every day?
What do I want from my husband? I wish for him to long to rush home to me always.
I wish to learn the mystery of masculine longings within my husband that he dare never share with me.
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CHAPTER 1 DREAMS OF A POOR COUNTRY GIRL
CHAPTER 2 MY DREAMS TURN TO ASHES
CHAPTER 3 MY ASHES SPIN INTO HOPE
CHAPTER 4 HAPPINESS IS A WALK IN THE WOODS
CHAPTER 5 WHITE SOX AND PINK SHUTTERS
CHAPTER 6 GOD’S SOVERIGNTY GIVES SORROW
CHAPTER 7 GOD’S SOVERIGNTY GIVES BILL FULL TIME CHURCH
CHAPTER 8 MILLEDGEVILLE, OUR EUTOPIA
CHAPTER 9 OAK FOREST BAPTIST CHURCH /MIRACLES
CHAPTER 10 OAK FOREST OFBC AWAKENS
CHAPTER 11 A NEW HOUSE AND CLEOPATRA
CHAPTER 12 BILL WORKS FAST TRACK KIT ALLURES
CHAPTER 13 KING SOLOMON’S LOVE STORY
CHAPTER 14 ITS BOTH A MAN AND A WOMAN THING
CHAPTER 15 MY ROLE MODELS -2 ALLURING WIVES
CHAPTER 16 PERFECT ROLE MODEL IN KITS HOUSE
CHAPTER 17 AM I A NORMAL WOMAN?
CHAPTER 18 ENTER JESUS and ZIG ZIGLAR
CHAPTER 19 JOIN OUR SCHROEDER FAMILY AT HOME
CHAPTER 20 DISCOVER GOD’S PLAN
CHAPTER 21 HOW DO I REVERNCE MY HUSBAND?
CHAPTER 22 GOD SENT A MENTOR
CHAPTER 23 ADMIRE HIM
CHAPTER 24 TRUST HIM
CHAPTER 25 HONOR HIM
CHAPTER 26 GOD’S WEDDING GIFT
GOD SEES THE DREAMS of a POOR COUNTRY GIRL
Why do all of these hillbilly kids have to be born at 3:00 am, in the middle of a storm?” Grumbled Dr. Johnson as his new Cadillac wound on the country road. (A private roadway 9/10ths of a mile from a main highway) Bam! The rocks hit his suspension again and again. Cursing every time the car scraped on ruts and rocks, he feared the worst. Bam, bam, again.
“I was so comfortable at home in front of my fireplace reading the best seller of the day with a glass of the finest bourbon in my hand.”
“OK, maybe I had one too many; maybe I had
more than one glass, and maybe I should not have brought the bottle with me. Just look at me, this is not the life I was expecting when I graduated from med school.” Bam! Bam! Of course he bumped the bottle between his legs from time to time.
By the time he arrived at Daddy Updike’s house, he was feeling no pain, and ready for God to supervise/control.
Of course Daddy smelled the liquor on his breath, but he had no other recourse than to keep quiet, and let the good doctor do his job.
With no complications, Katherine Lucille Updike was born. Short of recording the wrong birthdate on the birth .certificates, he did OK. (Maybe he did not even have to be there since Mom Updike knew all the ropes – this baby made the 5th in that same room.) .
The year was 1931, May 31st to be exact. That was the year I was brought into the world, completely unaware of the doctor’s happy mood. The place was a country farm house on the back roads of Bedford, Virginia, nestled against God’s Blue Ridge Mountains.
I was the youngest of 5; we lived a very simple life. Everyone had his chores, and helped keep a small farm on its feet by caring for and benefiting from the products given from cows, chickens, horses, and the red clay soil, you name it. If Daddy would raise it and sell it, we tended it. Not a bit of “belly-aching”… some maybe, but not a lot, Daddy only had to clear his throat, and we “straightened up”.
He planted food crops, while Mama, on a “shoestring”, made sure we never went hungry. She cooked such great vegetables and hot biscuits, that I did not like eating anybody, else’s cooking, Besides great ‘fixins”, she loved us, we never doubted that; of course we found total security in Daddy’s, Mama’s, and God’s love
Neither of them had lots of schooling outside their one-room schools, but Daddy was self-educated and an avid reader, especially his Scofield Bible which he studied for hours at a time, getting ready to teach his class of young men whom he taught every Sunday morning. Keeping abreast of political agenda by battery powered radio, and he surely wanted no part of “relief” handouts. A gentleman, he was, and Mama was a lady, fostered by her aunt who schooled her in what was “proper and lady-like”. Summing up their wonderful life style of loving, they lived their lives by the Golden Rule.
Church played a big part of our lives. Even though it was three miles away, Cousin Willy Leftwich drove us there, allowing us to pile in his car’s back seat, often two-deep. That was ok too. If the weather was bad, and Cousin Willy could not drive us, Daddy took us on horseback, and then only Daddy and I went, so I felt very special to him on those trips.
As a little girl, I loved Jesus and often remembered asking Jesus to come into my heart, like the song says, “Come into My Heart, Lord Jesus.” When I was old enough, and at a revival meeting, I joined the church and got baptized.
Several years later, an evangelist, Pastor Elbert Yeats, came to our church one Sunday; of course Daddy invited him to eat Sunday dinner with us. Mama’s cooking was such that all evangelists and pastors stopped at our house first.
After dinner, Pastor Yeats asked all five of us kids if we knew Christ. When it came to be my turn, I answered, “I’ve always been saved! “ This pastor didn’t seem to believe me, and even in my heart, I had no vivid recall of asking Jesus to save me. What does that mean?
The Pastor left and it started me to think. So one day as I wrestled with this question, while walking down a familiar path on the farm, I sat down on a rock overlooking a pond where I used to swim and fish. There by that rock, I made it official, “Lord, here I am, Kit Updike, I try to please God, to obey my parents, be kind, to do right. I know that I am not a perfect girl, I am sorry for my sins. I know that you died, were buried and rose again for me. Please forgive me, and come into my heart. I give myself to You.”
“What does God think of me now”? I wondered.” He did not speak in a voice, but sent His Word to my mind, “Whosoever shall call upon the name of the LORD shall be saved.” Romans 10:13 God said it, and settled all my doubts. Since God never lies nor breaks a promise, He erased (forgave) all my sins. How good it was that I had made an official moment with God and me, and I am saved for Heaven. No one else could ever again rock my faith, which I kept to myself, until now. Today I must share this moment with others.
Church continued to fill much of my social life too. It was there that I received faith with peace and confidence to face my “giants “of embarrassment for being poor, and or lesser socially. Despite being poor, I could not recall having withdrawn from in participating in social life or competition. In fact, I usually won contests and made friends with the best kids in class, loved church, sang in the choir, taught primary age children in Sunday school, made friends of, and enjoyed adults. With no telephone and only a battery charged radio, I might have led a cloistered life, but books opened a wide and awesome world to me. As a teenager thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen, I loved to read about, traveling and achieving coveted goals with the exciting folk in the narrative.
Romantic novels kept me wide awake as I read in bed at night by kerosene lamplight. Somehow (only Satan knew) I found a couple trashy love story magazines, to Mama’s dismay. “Why do you have to read that trash? “They have to go”; but I replaced them with classic love stories, even then she cautioned, “those things will never happen to you, they happen in places you will never go.’” She had never been three hundred miles away from home in her entire life. Mama did not forbid the classics; she just did not want me to be disappointed in my dreams
My favorite novel hero was “Gil”; he was the man for me; he went to all the exciting places, met interesting people; and all the girls all went for him. I wanted Gil to ride on our horse and to somehow, take me away into the sunset.
As a teen-ager, I liked boys, all I could think about was boys, boys. Everything about them fascinated me, how they walked, how muscular, how handsome, how popular, my sister’s boyfriend introduced me to a boy, named Chester, and we took a liking to each other. His dad owned a big industrial plant in town, making his family a predominant family in Bedford, being seen with him in town made me proud.
He was always a perfect gentleman. Before we knew what was happening, we bonded as friends, and fell in love. However, there was a big problem, though his family were fine folks, they did not believe in Jesus Christ. One day, I told Chester what Christ meant to me, that He also loved Chester, gave Himself on the cross, and took God’s wrath on His body, paying the penalty for Chester’s sins. That day he prayed, asking Christ to save him. I invited him to church, and he came every time I asked him. He used to say, “I’d go to church every day and night, if it meant I could have a date with you.” He was happy about knowing Christ as his personal Savior, but really was not serious about serving God. I knew that.
Seeking a life’s career, Chester joined the Air Force.
There were other boys, of course, but it all ended the same way. Boys didn’t seem to allow me to keep my promise to God, nor did one of them want to serve God as I did.. So I left them.
I had promised God that I would be a missionary, if He led me that way, which meant I must go to college. Only two high school classmates of mine had that privilege. Was I asking for the moon? My folks had no money to send me, however, if God wanted me to be a missionary, He would surely work out those details.
God led me to a job with Bedford Laundry as a cashier. Financially planning every cent, from my first check, I set aside God’s tithe, next college money, my living expenses, and after that, I could only look at those stylish dresses in Raflo’s exclusive dress shop. Yes I did look, and then quickly looked away, because God was planning college for me.
For six months I banked my savings, every cent, until my bank account reached ninety dollars, one month’s tuition. I set my sights on attending the Holy Grail of all colleges, I applied and was accepted at Bob Jones University.
I had read of great Christians who worked their way through college; I could too, so I took my ninety dollars, good faith and my work ethic, and enrolled in Bob Jones University. Though I only had enough for one month, I figured this was my opportunity to get out of Bedford, and to see what God had for me.
I’ll never forget rolling on to campus in my brother’s car. Ashby was nice to drive me there, providing I “pitched in” for gas. Everything about the campus said, “First class”, like the Administration Hall, where all freshmen had to go for instructions, the staff was warm, and helpful.
I also discovered that girls go this way and boys that way. Yes, there were lots of boys too! Was I at an all you can eat smorgasbord? “Wait a minute, Kit,” I told myself, “I’m here to learn and find what God wants for me. Of course I am, and boys are secondary. “I tried to convince myself of that fact, but boys are fun. (Don’t think I ever really did.)
Completing my paperwork in the Administration building, and assigned to a dorm, I began to feel alone. Ash sensed my fears, and took my suitcase to Mary Gaston dorm, where we had to say goodbye.
Not until I walked in my room of four other girls, that euphoria gave way to my aloneness. Sitting on my bunk surrounded by four roommates, suddenly, I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. Would my roommates see that I had few clothes; would they know that I was a poor country girl? Would that make a difference? Whatever they thought of me, they rescued me for the moment with, “Its ok, we did the same thing.”
With that giant in the dust, I must unpack. My basic wardrobe easily fit the tiny “my space” of the dorm closet. Imagine my thoughts when my Canadian roommate arrived with suitcases and a trunkful of the latest fashions. But you know what? I recalled what my Dad and Mom had said, “Updikes are Christian. We have God, love, and each other. We will hold our heads as high as the next one” and so I did. My roommates turned to be the best ever.
As for any fears of feeling inferior, I dressed in my basics, nicely accessorized; Ash often said, “Kit knows how to take something and make it look really good”. So it was, that even in college, I looked just as stylish as any other college girl. Nonetheless, I had to admit that my plain formal looked, yes, poor. I couldn’t help but compare it to that of my Canadian roommate‘s, when she spread her beautiful, formal for all of us to see. Later God even fixed that too.
The “Artist Series” was an event, known to the student body as a formal dress night, when Bob Jones invited professional artists to perform for the students. Miss Riley, Dean of Women, checked our formals for modesty. What would she think of my plain blue formal after seeing all of the glamorous dresses shown her by other students? Very shyly, I unfolded my plain blue formal, and as if she read my thoughts, she said, “Why, Katherine, it is lovely’; I wish that all of our other girls chose as wisely as you have.” The Lord added another bonus for me; I even had a date for the Artist Series! Many girls went stag; in fact, none of my roommates was invited by a guy!
First semester was hard, especially after my money ran out. All of my money went for tuition and books. I did not mind the “sack lunches on Sunday night, though some kids threw theirs away and ate in the Snack shop, I told myself that I liked the tuna sandwiches and cookies in the sack, so did Addie, my fellow poor roommate; we bonded around the “sack” at these times.
Studies took hours and more hours; actually, I discovered that I was not as smart as I had thought I was in high school. College was harder! The pressured schedules left my head spinning, but I was where God wanted me . . . that gave peace of mind and pride, “I am in college!’ God is my confidence”.
Boys? Oh, I dated several, but none was impressive. Among the ones who asked me out, was one Bill Schroeder, but he certainly did not compare to “my Gil”.
Semester ended on a wonderful note, and I headed for home, yet longed to go back next semester, but in God’s grand design, lay a detour. Let down, I began wondering, “Does God want me on a mission field, or in a ministry; surely He wants me in college? Where is He leading me? My very personal Father, who rules the universe, who loves me as His own child, is He dropping me now? Or where is my “Gil?” I guess I knew most of the answers to all, except, “Where is my Gil?
DREAMS TURNED TO ASHES
My life had changed, with the folk I met and books I read, a new world was out there; I wanted it. I was not the same after tasting college life at Bob Jones University.
Bedford, Virginia, my small hometown, had not changed, I felt like I was at a dead end, asking this question, “Where is God?” My fantasies of returning to college the following semester were dashed.
I felt as if God had dropped me out in space, my hopes, my dreams, my goals of finishing college, even my hope of going on to the mission field paled. Nevertheless, He held my hand out there in space; hence, I never gave up hope. Psalms 139: 17-18 spoke to me: “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more in number than the sand. When I awake, and I am still with you.”
God made one thing quite clear, He interrupted my college career because of money, of which, for certain, my parents could not pay one month’s tuition; but even that must be part of God’s plan. Thus, I reasoned, “I have a strong mind and body; suited to learn and to work; I cannot escape His command to serve Him with my whole life. I will not quit.” I trusted, then He began to unfold His plan.
Today, I cannot explain the mysterious opportunity for a job which must have birthed in Heaven, since I had no direct contact with the Chesapeake and Potomac Telephone Company. Neither did I care to learn how to operate a switchboard, that was, until I landed, and trained to serve as a telephone operator. God, alone orchestrated for me to get one of the best paying jobs a non-degreed girl could find in Bedford, Virginia!
I felt respected among all the other white collared girls in the town. Every time I said, “I am a telephone operator,” my smile spread into a grin; though, not my destination, this job took me a few steps on the way to the money which I religiously banked for college.
While working out the money angle, I needed also to deal with Chester; to try and to push aside my love for him, the man I had loved for three years. What of Chester? Yes, college is my goal, yet strangely, every time Chester got a leave from the United States Air Force, all of the old feelings welled up, until, on that one leave, we set a wedding window.
My emotions had run ahead, but conviction followed so strongly that I was scared, and wondered, “Should we marry, or, maybe, Chester would like to be a missionary?” On that disturbing note, I began to dream on my bed that we were married, dreams that were so real that when I awoke, I rubbed the sheets beneath me to see, “am I dreaming, or did I marry Chester? Thank You, God, it is only a dream; marriage is for life!” With that settled, a burden fell from my shoulders. Why? God had already clarified His will from the Bible (2 Corinthians 6:14l) “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” Chester was a good man even saved, but If God was choosing me to go to missions and did not choose Chester, that is an unequal yoke. Marriage is a yoke; no more questions! I must break our engagement, but how can I tell Chester? I cannot do it, so I asked God, “Please break our engagement, if it is not God’s plan.”
About three weeks later, a Western Union deliverer rang the doorbell on 401 Bedford Avenue, and handed me this telegram; which read,
“I am married.’
Was it OK? Not in my heart. Feelingly, I felt the loss of a great friend and confidant; we had loved each other, shared friendship, bonded for almost three years. Deep down, a weight lifted as God removed the last bump in the road so that I could go wherever God wished. God closed the Chester chapter and I prayed, with a sigh of relief, “Thank You, God for doing the hard part; I did not have to hurt Chester. “
Yes, I felt relieved and grateful, but that space in my heart that Chester had filled for three years lingered, now empty so that some days I felt alone in the universe; most of my friends wore either wedding rings nor diamond rings.
My Mama worried. “Kit,” she said in tears, “You are just too fussy; you will be just like Aunt Kate”, an “old maid school teacher”. I did not want to think about that.
Thereafter, God tried my faith many times, so once and again, I asked, “Does God hear me praying to do missions, or for a godly husband; does He care that I am lonely?”
One summer evening, lonely, longing for what . . . maybe a male friend? I followed a path on our farm which led me down the hill, past the barn, to the Updike farm’s natural swimming hole, bordered by two giant boulders, a taller one, shaded by a weeping willow had often dared me to jump into the deep water below. Directly, across a shorter arm-like bolder seemed to embrace the water; there I learned to swim; but years later, our son, Steve, having passed his life-saving course, called my style, dog paddling, then he taught me how to really swim. Nonetheless, I lost any fear of water; but not fear of snakes; I jumped out fast when a snake glided through the waterhole with me. Oh how I hated snakes!
No snakes there on that, my lonely memory day, only water flowing by; and it still called to me, “Come on in.” So I sat on the arm of the great rock, slipped my feet from my sandals, and into the cool water below. Like a playback from the past, the sounds of children laughing, splashing the water, rang in my ears, and momentarily, that girlish happiness replaced my adult longings; I felt like a child without a care in the world, and then, it hit me anew, “I am alone, not enough money for college, and Chester is married”. With that thought, my hope seemed to stretch to its limits; I could not see God’s hand in any of my dreams.
The word “Impossible “sounded in my mind like a gong, following close behind, even louder, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you, Kit Updike”. “Don’t look back”. “If you look back, you are not fit to serve me. “No one who puts his hand to the plow and keeps looking back is fit to serve.” Luke 9:62 Thirsty to know God’s plan for me, I waited and recalled another verse, one that I had memorized years earlier, “Trust Me, I (God) have designed an unbelievable life for you, and “do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Me, and I will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:5, 6
Although In that lonely moment, I did not want my path directed; I wanted college, I wanted to be a missionary and to meet a great Gill-like man!
Oh yes, in my heart of hearts, I did trust my personal God completely, and left my mind open. To be certain, thoughts raced back and forth, from peace to uncertainty, one minute, peace, and hope, the next, uncertainty.
Where is my God? At those times, He seemed disinterested, and far away, but then again, He assured me of His way from His Word, “You have searched me and known me, You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You know my thoughts afar off.”
(Psalms 139:1, 2)
God waited months at a time, an interim, almost endless, but in reality, He was orchestrating behind the scenes, laying the foundation for, and insuring His plan for me to return to school.
Then abruptly, it seemed, He orchestrated everything into motion; the same pastor, who years before, had challenged me to be saved, suddenly came back into my life, and this time, insisted that I get back into college. Though Pastor Yeats was. not my pastor, he was the only real pastor I ever knew. (My Daddy respected him highly.) Though I had grown up in Quaker Baptist Church, and had respected my pastors as God’s men, none ever took time for me. Pastor Yeats took time, and urged me to obey God’s call to missions.
God orchestrated this change! My telephone company job had taken me away from my farm home, and to the town of Bedford where I rented a room in a typical rooming house, but had no car to drive to church, so it happened that God orchestrated that I met a member of Pastor Yates’s church, who lived in Bedford, and offered to take me to church every Sunday morning.
Pastor Yates welcomed me as if I were a mayor or some famous person. Worshipping with his church folk, I felt as if I had gone home; the music, the folk, and of course the Bible teaching, just felt right. God was giving me my personal pastor, who challenged, and eventually, shoved me into ministry.
Did God send him that day? “There’s a visitor for you in the hallway,” Mrs. Bowles, my Chief Operator announced; it was my Pastor Yates! He drove about thirty-five miles from Roanoke like God’s courier, “And “What is taking so long?” He asked. That’s what he came to say; I just knew God sent him, so I promised my Pastor, “I will go back to Bob Jones University, then set my goals in concrete from that point.”
Everything began to fall in place as if God held a control button, then released it; my college money banked, Bob Jones University accepted my credits, and my Chief Operator approved my resignation. Truly, God led and ordered every step. I am ready”.
I worshipped quietly: “How awesome is my God! Who am I, that God should even see me? He, the powerful, invisible God keeps orchestrating my life! Yes, it’s exactly as He promised, I am the child of my all-powerful, all loving God, He is caring for me personally!”
Kit Updike, with a boatload of confidence that day, pulled back on Bob Jones University campus in Ash’s car; of course that time he hit me up for gas money (I think he might have overcharged to make up for the free ride before.) but I did not care. I was back with a vengeance. School started, and I was older, wiser plus, not boy crazy then ready to pay attention to my studies, to surely let God’s will be done.
Neither Bill nor I knew but that special day would change the course of our lives. My friend and I were eating in the snack when I heard a voice from behind, “Excuse me, and is this seat taken?” I recognized the accent immediately, as the guy from Chicago, whom I had dated a few times as a freshman at BJ. He was an OK guy, masculine, and clean cut, but he lacked something. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but somehow, we did not connect then.
Sure enough, it was Bill Schroeder. Without even looking, “I don’t see anyone sitting there, Bill, do you?” That is all I had to say. As we ate together, he was a perfect gentleman, said all the right things, and laughed at the right places. Did he make a deal with God to get my attention? That, he surely did. Later that night, he wrote me the most beautiful note and slipped it in the campus Night Mail delivery system. While I don’t remember exactly it said there were shades of my Gil.
Bill has this to say: “My freshman year at BJU included a great social life that had many dates. Katherine Updike was one of many. She was pretty and lots of fun. But, I had a girlfriend back home, and didn’t want to get serious with a girl so far from home.
My Dad died unexpectedly, when I was 17, a junior in high school. I was active in our church youth group and had many friends. My Mom had a job in the office of Rock Island Railroad. I knew that God had called me to preach, and enrolled at Bob Jones. I had two goals: 1, to graduate and 2. To find a wife who had a burden to serve the Lord.
In my senior year I was asking God for a wife to share my future ministry. One day in January I saw a beautiful blond Kathy Updike. A quick memory recall and I remembered her from my freshman year—wow was she beautiful.
I wrote her a note asking her to meet me after lunch; we met and the rest is history.”
MY ASHES SPUN INTO HOPE
He was the same Bill Schroeder from two years before, only . . . was he? Not really! We met, and the friendship began. This Bill knew everything about everything, so that I felt secure with him at a formal dinner, concert, opera, (well. maybe he was not excited about the opera, but he knew the story line of each drama) church, soccer game, or in the snack shop.
The guys respected Bill and listened when he talked. He set personal goals – whether president of his Men’s University Society, Zeta Chi, and captain of his soccer team. Be it preacher, or soul winner, he worked and achieved. Most of all, he too wanted to serve God for life. Together, we felt right.
When Bill’s friends stopped him to talk, he waved them away insisting, “Get lost, fellows.” That’s the kind of guy I wanted. In fact, Bill was all l that I ever wanted in a guy. So far beyond Chester, to me, that I could happily say, God’s thoughts, and plans are as high above ours as heaven is over earth.(Isaiah 55:8-9) “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” God held Bill for me.
Surely, God worked in mysterious ways to perform His wonders. “How awesome, is our God! He gave me insights into Bill’s heart the day he faced the most vital exam of his college career, adding to all of that, he must make high grades, to graduate.
I longed to cheer him on but how? I started walking to the Administration building where all took the exam and with every step, pondering, “What can I say?” Everything I rehearsed’ seemed too weak. I found him waiting along with fellow students, and then simply whispered, only, “Bill, I love you.” Later he shared that my words sang to him and incentivized him throughout the test.
Our worlds were complete when we were together walking the snail trail (a slow walk to the dorm) eating ice cream in the snack; and dreaming. . .of getting married, of having a family, and of serving God in our own church.
Three weeks from the day we smiled at each other in the dining hall, Bill invited me to the school’s “Dating Parlor,” a great room designed for couples, where they could get to know each other, grow friendships, and ultimately, even discover love. This room also made me think of a designer’s furniture display where love seats were arranged for conversation and beauty.
Bob Jones University smiled on guys and girls finding God’s love for life there, subsequently someone had arranged the seating by which couples could share intimate conversation; there Bill and I bonded as friends, compared goals and dreams, and there too, we promised to date only each other.
Every day we spent together, Bill’s eyes told me his love story; while my eyes reflected my love back to him. Soon our secret got out. Everyone who saw us seemed to know; even Dr. Bob Jones Jr. read true romance in our eyes. It happened this way, a red letter day on the college calendar, Bill, as president of his society, and I, his date, presented to Dr. Bob Jones an official invitation to Zeta Chi’s Valentine Banquet. Dr. Bob saw our secret and said to Bill, “You had better work hard to keep her.”
Perhaps he honored Dr. Bob’s advice, because soon after, Bill staged the most romantic evening of my life. He tells the story: “The setting was two stuffed chairs, facing each other and a table holding a lamp. I went early to set the stage which meant that I set my wire recorder, programmed with prerecorded Montavani’s romantic music, under my chair.
The music helped set the stage. Although other couples were sitting in the Dating Parlor, I was oblivious to their presence. I had eyes for one person, this beautiful “Southern Belle” sitting across from me, there was a lot of small talk, but I knew the stage was set for the ultimate question. In the emotion of the moment, we made eye contact with each other, and I asked her to marry me.
With tears in her eyes, she said, ‘yes’! Being at Bob Jones with chaperones not far from us, I fought my desire to kiss her.”
And I, Kit Updike: “Is it Montavani’s or angel music? Is this man Gil, and I, the heroine? Surely God is kissing this hour; Bill is asking me to marry him! “
I did not stop to pray, except to whisper, ‘Thank You.” to God for answering my prayers of the years.
I said, “Yes.” If eyes could kiss, where lips could not, we sealed the evening with a thousand kisses. Following this, our commitment to each other, we walked down the stairs to the sidewalk that led to The women’s dormitory, because; there was no place to celebrate, except in our hearts and in our prayers of thanks to our God..
Bill’s important question was answered, “I asked her to marry me and she said, ‘yes’.” The next step was to ask her father, but that was another obstacle. I had never met him, but, if God were in it, he would say, ‘yes.” There was one more step, which was, to get a bus ticket and go to Virginia to meet Mr. Updike.”
This described the beginning of our love story in a capsule, “It was like Magic’; and that was only the beginning! In a most meaningful way, our awesome God kept orchestrating our lives.
Bill chose not to talk to Mom Schroeder, and I could not call my folks, because they had no phone; so we each wrote home.
Only a few days moving slowly upon us, graduations, and meeting Bill’s folks were close, I was scared. “Will Mom Schroeder and Carol, his sister, like me?”
All fears’ vanished when Bill introduced us, we spent a short, but good time together, and began to bond looking forward to the wedding and to our becoming a future family. Mom loved me because I adored her son, I loved her because she was my Bill’s mom. Then Carol could become the little sister I never had, and she was very beautiful, loving and sweet.
Graduation Day arrived, Mom Schroeder, Carol and I watched Bill, distinguished in his black cap and gown; pass our row in the Rodehaver Auditorium. (He would one day be my husband!)
After the graduation celebration, pictures plus the fanfare, we put our suitcases in a friend’s car, said “good-bye to Mom and Carol, and boarded a Greyhound bus headed for my Virginia family and home.
No chaperon to be seen in that bus, so for the first time, Bill reached for my hand! “IT WAS LIKE MAGIC”. Our five hours fairly flew by, and then, we heard the bus’s airbrakes cry signaling Bedford, Virginia’s Greyhound Bus Station. For the very first time, I wondered, “Will my family like this ‘city slicker?” My brother, Ashby, six ft. two, every inch a “Virginia man,” met and welcomed us, his winsome, Ashby smile reassured me, saying, “Its ok, Kit”.
Together, they carried our luggage to his car, talking about sports and cars, thus, the friendship began. Some of Ash’s conversation may have sounded foreign to my Bill, or conversely, my city slicker’s, conversation to Ash. Ten miles into the country, Ash made a sharp left turn onto our private road, momentarily, I panicked. “Suppose Bill will not love me because our house is old and we are poor… then I don’t want him.” No sooner had I settled that, than in the distance, the sight of the roof of our house rose against the Updike’s giant beech tree.
What a thrill! Home at last! Waiting expectantly in the kitchen, my Updike Family, with eyes on Bill and me, smiled their welcome; and I, fears swallowed up in family pride, presented “Dad, Mom, Lloyd, Hilda, Holmes, Wray, Ash, Trula, Elsie, Nat, Janice, this is Bill. Bill, this is my family.” Right away, Bill just knew that he was adopted into the loving Updike family. I have never been prouder
Daddy, a little stand-offish taken aback by a Chicago boy wanting to take his daughter away, stood back quietly observing Bill. Talk about country, Dad, and new boyfriend! Yes he had struggles as a father, but kept them to himself as he pondered, “Did not God choose this man for Kit; he must be alright?”
Formalities done, Mama busied herself with serving, getting everything just right, promptly ushered us to be seated at her kitchen table, which nearly groaned under the weight of my favorites fixings i.e., her famous fried chicken, crusty freshly baked bread, strawberry shortcake plus many other lushes.
How good it was to be home where everybody talked at once, and where we wanted to hear what was going on at home, and they must hear of college life, and of how Bill and I met. “Home sweet home!”
MY HAPPINESS IS A WALK IN THE WOODS
No surprise to my family, that when supper ended, Bill and I seized the first excuse to escape, alone. I had no idea that Bill had asked Daddy if he would give his permission for him to marry his daughter, nor that Daddy had already said, “Yes”.
All things in order, Bill, who always wants to give his Christmas presents a week before Christmas, kept fingering the diamond ring box in his pocket, and mentally set the stage.
While I, longing to have him alone, just the two of us, offered him a tour of our 80 acre farm, which, to a city apartment dwelling man, seemed like a plantation. To me, it was home, but that night it wore a new face, “Bill’s and Kit’s Private Universe”.
Surely God planted every tree, flower, and shrub in its place designed for our special event. Virginia pine trees waited for this moment; (though we saw them not) robins, crickets and song birds, serenaded (though we heard them not) because we had found each other in our private universe. I had walked those woods hundreds of times, Bill had not, but he instinctively led me to the heart of our universe, a gigantic boulder, weather worn, by Old Man Creek, flowing at its base, all of these were totally unaware that Bill was restlessly fingering the ring box in his pocket .
God must have guided Bill to the perfect place, because he paused by the same boulder where I received Christ, seven years earlier. Holding me in his arms, for the first time, he whispered the words I had longed to hear, “I love you; I love you”.
The magic moment arrived, when Bill took the most beautiful diamond ring in the world from his pocket, held my hand in his, and placed his ring on my ring finger, formally asking me to marry him.
I accepted his ring, formerly consenting, with, “yes I will marry you”. We sealed our promises to each other with a real kiss, promising to bond for the rest of our lives.
How different from our moment in Bob Jones Dating Parlor when I said, “Yes I will marry you”; the night we could not touch, the night every part of our hearts and lips longed for a kiss, that was then, but now, we share another moment,
It was Like Magic, for life!
For three wonderful days, we dreamed and planned, three days which kept moving in God’s perfect cycle until time said, “No more”. Shakespeare said it well, “parting is such sweet sorrow.” We say “good bye”, and Bill hitch hiked back to Chicago, home and seminary.
Every night, throughout the summer, I lay in my bed, dreaming of us, of our times together; “we will never have to say goodbye or good night. Can I really be a pastor’s wife? God was giving me a ministry working with my preacher husband! I could teach children and women. What else will God have for me?” On and on into my dream world, I wandered.
September took me back to Bob Jones, labeled, “claimed”, and “sealed by a diamond ring”. God’s time clock ran ahead of my college career; just prior to second semester, Bill wrote, “God has called me to my very own church on 26th and Union Street in Chicago.
God was placing Bill in his own church where he could tell the folks the Jesus story of how Jesus Christ, virgin born, came to earth, died, rose from the dead, and paid for our sins. Hear the story of a fifteen year old girl, who, all alone by a creek, on her Daddy Updike’s Farm, wanted to know that she could go to Heaven, never to Hell, so she talked to God, “Lord, here I am, Kit Updike, I try to please God, to obey my parents, be kind, to do right. I know that I am not a perfect girl, I am sorry for my sins. I know that you died, were buried and rose again for me. Please forgive me, and come into my heart. I give myself to You. ““What does God think of me now?” I wondered. He did not speak in a voice, but sent His Word to my mind, “Whosoever shall call upon the name of the LORD shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) God says it, and settles all my doubts. Since “God never lies nor breaks a promise, He erased (forgave) all my sins. How good it is that I have made an official moment with God and me.
Bill wrote, insisting, “A pastor needs a wife.” What could I say? Was God, answering all of my prayers, He had brought me to college, was giving me a mission, and yes my own Bill.
Maybe, it seemed like a dream, as I had dreamed with Cinderella, my favorite fairy story character. Conversely, on that day, God, my Heavenly Father, not a frilly fairy, made my dreams come true, with far more than a beautiful dress, a make-believe prince, and in which all ends when the clock strikes 12:00 midnight! No, my God went far beyond my dreams; He was orchestrating our future lives. Amazing God!
Quaker Baptist Church, my home church, a one room country church marked the place. During seminary break March 6, 1954, dictated the date Bill and I faced each other before a candle lit marriage alter surrounded by family and friends. Bill’s dark eyes whispered, “You are mine, and I am yours”, while my eyes echoed the phrase.
Pastor Shelton recaptured my wandering thoughts with, “Repeat after me,” so I solemnly vowed, “I, Katherine, take thee, William, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish ‘til death do us part”.
My Aunt Woolsey hosted a wedding reception at her house where Virginia and Chicago friends and family, joined together with us to celebrate around wedding cake and gifts, Yes, God orchestrated that perfect day for the new Mr. and Mrs. William Schroeder.
At the end of this perfect day we checked in at Ash’s Brick Cottages, on Route 122 toward Lynchburg, Virginia, following Hilda’s and Elsie’s honeymoon overnight example. Did we have a guest? The owner remembered how the Updike men’ decorated honeymoon cars, and he asked Bill for his car keys, warning, “I know the Updike Brothers will be looking for your car to decorate it.” Oops, we missed that one!”
Only one honeymoon night there because Bill must return to seminary, so we drove back home, picked up our wedding gifts, and said goodbye to Mama and Daddy. When we kissed Mama and Daddy Updike good-by, Mama cried, and Bill comforted, “Mama, it is not like we are going to Africa”, Mama responded, “Well you might as well be.” (My Daddy and Mama were not seasoned travelers.) Though we smiled at her comment, it proved to be a nearly prophetic comment.
As we kissed Daddy, he gave Bill twenty dollars, with which we hired a tow truck to pull our car from a hillside, because Bill did not set the emergency brake and the car rolled down a slight, incline where it encountered a small tree limb that refused to let go. And, yes, it is true since our money went to the tow truck driver; we had to drive straight through to Chicago, to our new home with no sleep. All was well; Bill and I were together. Our love was still like … magic. God kept orchestrating! “Darling, Happiness is being married to my Best Friend.” Happy every day! Guess Who?” Love, your Bill
WHITE SOX AND, PINK SHUTTERS
College, wedding, overnight honeymoon behind; Bill and I arrived at the door of , 52nd and Emerald, Chicago, Illinois where more dreams awaited us!
Bill did the romantic thing, lifted me up in his arms, carried me over the threshold of our new home, and he held me, as if to never let go, nor did I want to go. “Can we hold this moment a little longer?”
He did set me down in his own apartment, one that he found, rented, and furnished himself; then with a sweeping gesture, boasting ownership, he told his stories of real estate miracles, and of many of God’s provisions. “Mr. Gramlich’s wife died, and he gave us all this furniture, free!” Do you like it?” Happily, I murmured “it’s lovely, Bill.” We called 52nd and Emerald Avenue in Chicago home!
We had no time to lose on Wednesday evening, and prayer meeting at Bill’s church began in two hours. The folks welcomed us as newlyweds, and of course Bill introduced me, “This is my wife, Kit Schroeder.” Though very nervous, I tried to make a good first impression, which I think I did, until we knelt to pray and there, on my knees, eyes closed, I fell asleep! (We had driven all day and night) This was not the first impression I dreamed of making!
Every day seemed like Christmas as he chartered his outreach in Chicago, to preach in his own church, to reach truly lost Chicago folk for Christ, lost without Him! Bill put plans in motion and went to find Chicagoans where they were; even if he had to preach on the street, as he did, on the corner of 63rd and Halsted, where I, also, thrilled, and nervous, played the keyboard, for street meetings.
God was choosing me, to serve Him as Bill’s wife; everyday seemed like Christmas to me too, there in, our very own apartment, just Bill and Kit in our universe, no chaperones, friends nor anybody who cared to watch/supervise us.
Fortunately, no one saw us, the night Bill took a small flight in space, a story he loved to tell: “I just came home from visiting; I entered our apartment, took off my coat and shoes and looked at Kit lying in bed. I jumped over the end of the bed to surprise her. Suddenly, Bill, Kit and the mattress were on the floor. Wow! What a surprise!”
“As I put the bed together, I discovered why it broke; I had not secured the three slats that supported the mattress, which resulted in a lot of laughter and of securing a stronger mattress support. Life is fun when you are in love.”
My own homemaking dreams came true; I read cook books, planned menus, experimented with recipes from my Better Homes and Garden Cook Book, and with all that, used my wedding presents.
One of my most romantic homemaking ventures came crashing down on that rare evening at home. I surprised Bill with a formal, gourmet dinner, set the table, used my sterling silver flatware, candle holders (which bore tall and tapered candles), crystal plates, and stemware; adding to formality, I slipped into my tee length wedding dress.
A few minutes into the meal, Bill murmured, ‘Hon, I can’t see the food,’ then switched on ceiling lights, then, as if programmed, snapped his fingers, and announced, ‘The White Sox are playing now!’ Somehow, I knew, my orchestra members must exit, for his beloved nine-man baseball team to fill the room!
He may as well have stepped in the middle of my perfectly lovely table! Instantly, my wifely value system got caught up as if in a whirlwind! AND He had no idea! AND, I had no idea of the strong feelings between Chicago men and Chicago White Sox, or that to a White Sox fan, if I disturbed his game I would crash his evening, and insult his heroes.”
Off to a rocky start, I, with my dreamy, bride’s opinion, think, “he set the stage for romance on campus where we talked for hours with Montavani’s One Hundred and One Strings in the background, but tonight, he ignored my romantic stage that I set in our honeymoon house! Where is my Bill Schroeder? Who is this man?” This Virginia girl did not know what to do or to say, I really did not remember; I suppose, I did the girl thing, and cried. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “He did not know!” He neither knew nor understood that his new wife did not care to hear “what the White Sox were doing”!
Dear Reader, time out! Obviously, both passions were running high! In the next hour, we could blow or grow. Thank God, that Christ’s Spirit in Bill and in me, kept control because God commands, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, “it is impossible but that offenses will come; listen up! If your brother sins against you, tell him, meekly and if he repents, forgive him.” Luke 17:1,3. The Bible also says it is ok to be angry, but do not sin, furthermore, settle this before you go to sleep. Give no opportunity to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27.
I was angry, and not too meek; I had worked hard for that dinner! As a result, I told Bill exactly what I thought, likewise, Bill explained that the White Sox were playing a playoff game, one he dared not miss, and asked, “Can you forgive me for totally blowing a perfect dinner?” “Yes, I forgive you”. I asked him to forgive me for the hateful things I had said. (This story looked better on paper than it sounded, alive.) I forgave, and sure enough, we finished our dinner and evening peacefully, then both slept.
Nonetheless, the day after, my conscience relived the evening, which seemed like a very bad dream. A dream I neither wanted to re-dream nor relive, where Bill and Kit Schroeder hurt each other in our honeymoon house. I thought about it and wondered, “Do other husbands and wives hurt each other?”
Dr. Bob Jones, Sr., founder of Bob Jones University, answered that question in a true story which he relayed to the university student body. A friend of his had boasted to Dr. Bob, “My wife and I have been married forty-five years, and never had a cross word.” Dr. Bob, as an aside, to the Student Body, said, “Either he is dead or lying.”
“Then it’s normal to disagree. Bill and I still love as no other husband and wife have ever, could ever, and would ever love. If there is more love, then we will find that too”.
Bill had taken me from a quiet country life style into his bristling Chicago. I felt “at home”, because he was there, my tour guide, instructor, protector, chauffeur, and realtor. For this reason, I adjusted to his apartment fifty-two blocks from Chicago’s Loop. Although surrounded by neighbors who were not real neighbors, like in Virginia; nonetheless, 52nd and Emerald was home, Bill and I lived there, living out our, It’s Like Magic love, in our home. Until. . .
Bob Horton, Bill’s loyal friend, and godly deacon, persuaded Bill, “The pastor should live next door to Victory Bible Church”. “No, please, not closer to the heart of the city!” I insisted. Nevertheless, this time, God signed me up for a crash course, no wiggle room. “Kit,
Obey your husband.” 1Peter 3:1 “Likewise, ye wives, be subject to your own husbands.”
Bill got “the ball rolling”, and then God showed me a rosy side of His plan: our new landlord had renovated the apartment, added a bathroom, and wanted to paint the apartment throughout, a job for which, I, having studied Professional Interior Design, could choose all the colors!
Of course, I copied from the latest decorator magazines on how to decorate tall ceilings in the kitchen. For that, I choose gray walls, accented by custom built pink shutters, a lovely cover for my very tall windows.
My hero husband supported me, though perhaps, secretly embarrassed and reluctant, but then again, he grew ten feet tall in my eyes; because, he trusted my decorating expertise, even when it could put his manhood on the line.
The Lord watched, approvingly, and Bill loved me tenderly for honoring him. Learning to obey my husband was foreign to me, naturally, I asked God to help, and then read, “O LORD, You search me, and know me. You know when I sit down and when I get up; You understand my thoughts, even when You are far away; You are aware of everything I do. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, You know all about it. You place Your hand upon me.” Psalms 139:3, 9.
Little by little God stretched me, until I could see that Bill’s plans, which I should obey, were not like mine, still, I ought to obey my husband. Ultimately, all pieces of the puzzle did fit together into one lovely scenario, setting the stage, where our Victory Bible folks could drop by often, next door to the church, (a la deacon/friend, Bob Horton).
At peace, we slept soundly at 26th and Union, Chicago, Illinois, trusting our Orchestrator to keep orchestrating. Sure enough, at two am, a phone call turned all of our dreams upside down, and this too, by God’s sovereign design.
GOD’S SOVEREIGNTY DICTATES FAMILY SORROW
“Nat is dead!” Elsie cried in anguish. God had taken my wonderful, friend and brother-in-law with a brain aneurysm. Nat, Elsie, Chester and I had double dated, during Elsie’s nurses training and my senior year in, high school. Nat, closer to me than my brothers, loved Elsie romantically. I could not imagine her grief, nor were we prepared for this nightmare, nevertheless, we made plans, like robots and straightaway left everything, our jobs, apartment, et al, and drove to her home on Vine Street in Bedford, Virginia.
Of course, Bill sat with folks of Victory Bible, his church in Chicago, before we left the city, he sat down and explained, “I do not know how long I will be in Virginia”; please pray with me regarding work.”
“Why, Nat”? We asked, trying to live each day trusting in the truth that God’s plan was perfect; we also asked for faith and courage to bear our sorrow.
Sunrise to any day held little that we could look forward to, only to stand upright, to breathe in and out, twenty-four hours each long day”, trusting God’s promise, “ All things work together for good to those in Christ Jesus” Romans 8:28 “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” I thanked God for my husband many times. One heart wrenching scene hovered in my mind, when Elsie cried out from the basement, she clung to Nat’s work jacket, which he had hung there a few hours earlier; “Don’t move it ever,” she sobbed aloud.
Oh, how I prayed for the right words to say, or for a happy miracle, for some event that could bring my happy Elsie back to us. None of these burst through our grief,
God stayed faithful and Christ’s love forced us to stay close, to share His love and to leave the healing to Jesus Christ.
I never knew grief like this. God, our Orchestrator, continued directing in His minor key, with some dissidence; we trusted that in God’s time, somewhere out there, He would, and He did finally, orchestrate with a happier, brighter theme, a very slow healing for Elsie.
BILL’S FIRST FULL TIME CHURCH
Wait, Lord, What about Bill? Did God forget that He literally seized Bill Schroeder’s treasured church from him; why? Did this somehow blend into God’s sovereign plan for Bill Schroeder?
Bill, with Christ-like compassion for Elsie, had walked away from pastoring his Chicago church, then to support us, had worked side by side with fellow workers at Virginia Rubatex plant. Still with Christ-like compassion for them, Bill shared Jesus’ salvation story, heard and cared about their needs and dreams until, God orchestrated from behind the scenes, and in His sovereign plan, reckoned Bill, a pastor again.
Bill fills in the blanks, completing the story, “When I got to Virginia, I made tents, worked at Virginia Rubatex plant, because I had to make a living! Unbeknownst to me, a college friend, and a pastor of a local Methodist church, arranged for me to preach Sunday morning and Sunday evening in Beaver Dam Baptist Church, Chamblissburg, Virginia.”
Their members heard him preach, liked that he preached the Jesus Story, of how that He came to Earth, lived a sinless life, died and rose again for our sins. Following a business meeting, Beaver Dam Church members voted for Bill to pastor their rather large congregation offering him a full time salary. God gave Bill his dream come true.
I could finally be Bill’s full time wife/professional nutritionist and homemaker, all in my own house, where I, Kit, can scream, talk loudly and vacuum at two a.m., and my Chicago-bred Bill need not shush me for disturbing any neighbors. Oh yes, and I could also play the hostess role. So it happened, in the early days of pressurized whipping cream, that Bill asked two pastor friends to lunch, a perfect opportunity to serve this old delicacy using a new device. I baked and served apple pie, set the can of whipping cream (like an experiment) on the table. So each pastor took his turn, to decorate his own pie, and to make a sport of it; well they did . . . some splattered on the ceiling, some on the table, and finally, some decorated the pie slices. I will not divulge names of Bill’s friends, it was all among friends; the social news columnist may end her social news like this, “a good time was had by all.”
I can be a pastor’s wife; I can do it, yes! I can encourage our own ladies to love being wives. They want somebody to listen to them, I can help them to want to allure their husbands. I could be the pastor’s wife, yes! I too understand their husbands and to hear what God says to women, I connected with those desires. I could serve God all week long with women in their homes, and at church, I loved God’s niche for me.
Mid-February, my niche grew; God alerted me that He was sending Bill and me a beautiful miracle to be delivered in September. September 26, to be exact, in Virginia Baptist Hospital, Lynchburg, Virginia. At four am, my labor pains announced her approach. Thankfully Doctor Cook prearranged a hospital room, since we lived forty country miles from Virginia Baptist Hospital; Bill sat close, held my hand and labored with me (as much as is possible for a husband to do). Every contraction was new and strange, with a mystery of, what next? Will I cry out, as they do in the movies? Will this contraction bring my baby? I still don’t know, but it did end with our beautiful baby girl.
“It’s a girl!” Dr. Cook announced, celebrating our first child’s birth. This scripted a new chapter in Bill’s and my lives opening with realizing that God gave her, a gift of life, that we partnered with God in her life, not surrounding us with angels, but with the person of God, Himself.
She was truly a beautiful baby “I am a proud Dad, holding our first child, a beautiful baby girl –sounds like royalty, which she is.” Meanwhile, in Beaver Dam Baptist Church, God watched Satan attack the church, enlist denominational missionaries to dump ugly politics in the middle of our church family, and to privately tell our church leaders to fire Bill.
Of course God saw their schemes then He took action worked behind the scenes and coached Bill to stay on track to train Christian leaders to stand for God in church with convictions faithful to the Lord and to their pastor.
Untiring, never quitting, though puzzled, Bill pondered, “I thought, that everybody wanted to win souls to Christ. Why do they fight me?” God never answered Bill’s question, except, as He answered Job. ” I am God, look at who I am, I control the universe, and, “Job, do you, without knowledge, counsel Me? God?”
Walking with Job, Bill endured a different kind of fiery baptism. Our second baby girl was waiting to meet us any day and Bill sat with me to comfort me during the delivery in the same delivery room where Dawn arrived fifteen months earlier. Dr. Cook, my Gynecologist, cut the umbilical cord; held Mary Evelyn, in her newborn skin, up for us to see. “She’s perfect”, he declared. “And she’s beautiful with black hair, and healthy pink skin, but” before I could study her more a nurse came and whisked her away for a bath prepping her to meet her proud and eager Dad and Mom,
Labor completed and Mary Evelyn birthed, exhausted and happily content, I fell asleep, longing to hold her as I had held my Dawn. In the intervening time, and unbeknownst to me, Bill, looked through the nursery glass, and saw her fight to breathe. Of course, I knew nothing of this , but when I awoke from delivery the curtain separating my bed from my roommate’s, was drawn, dividing my bed from the others. Bill, My Mom, Hilda and Elsie came from behind the curtain; I first thought, it was strange that they were there in mid-morning, on the other hand, why not, I have a baby girl?” but following the “why not”, an icy hand gripped my heart, “Can it be bad news? No, no, Dr. Cook held her up; she is beautiful, had he not said, ‘She’s perfect!’ She was!” Nonetheless, she lost her battle to live.
“No, God, not our beautiful baby girl!”
God loved us through church, my Updike family, and friends who flooded our mailbox with cards. One card from Bill’s college friend, spoke, as if for God, “As for God, His way is perfect.” 2 Samuel 22:31 God hovered close and led us to read King David’s and Bathsheba’s story; their firstborn son died, and God consoled David, “He will not come (back to earth), but you will go to him.” (2 Samuel 12:22-23)) In that flawless way, God promised us that we too will see our Mary Evelyn, in Heaven.
Freely you receive, give freely. A few weeks later, Jim and Judy’s newborn died at birth, our hearts went out to them and we knew that we must freely give the comfort God gave to us. Immediately, we stopped to tell them that we know baby Mary Evelyn is in Heaven, the same as David’s baby boy, then they too, felt God’s peace, and gave their hearts to Jesus Christ. Some years later, Judy shared that she had wanted to take her life that night, but God gave her hope to live on.
While we grieved, and buried our baby girl, denominational leaders visited our people, and counseled them to fire Bill, nonetheless, God, continued orchestrating , our folks never stopped serving God, coming to church, loving Bill, loving his sermons; and still others were trusting Christ as Savior.
In this interim, Bill asked God for His leading, perhaps for a new church, if so, specifically in Illinois. Then for greater insight, he called Pastor MacDonald, Bill’s favorite pastor, who knew the denominational hierarchy and he suggested that Bill may not fit in that particular hierarchy. Wait a moment, I, Kit Schroeder, loved this church, lived near my Updike Family, ate Sunday dinner with my Dad and Mom, and just loved being a Virginian.
Yet, God shut that door. He had prepared me for that day years earlier when I surrendered my entire life to my Lord at age fifteen. Thereafter, I often wholeheartedly rested and hoped on His promise to lead me as in Proverbs 3:5, 6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
And I, fearing, reverencing, God, set my mind and heart on following my husband wherever God led him, confident that He would also lead me. He did lead us away very quickly.
The sun rose, like it does every other day, but it was not an “as usual day” for me. I guess my mind kinda blurred. But I do recall that I drove Bill, hope- filled, light hearted, to the train in Roanoke, Virginia, destination, Milledgeville, Illinois, and this during a driving snow storm. “I just knew . . . the die was cast”
Weeks later found the Schroeder’s, Bill, Kit, and baby Dawn with all our earthly goods on a four wheel trailer, headed for Milledgeville, Illinois. My Updike families watched us pull out of our drive at Beaver Dam, all of us trying to look grown up, to support each other, while inside, we knew, “It might as well be Africa” for us, we may see each other once a year, and some Christmas holidays.
One truth held like iron, that Updike’s and God’s love endures through both time and distance.
MILLEDGEVILLE –OUR UTOPIA CHURCH
Milledgeville Illinois, where is that? Way out in the western part of Illinois, remote, but God’s country, just where God was planting us, and that day, excited Christians with a mind to win folk to Christ, welcomed us.
We settled comfortably in an apartment, about twenty stairs up onto a very long hallway, presently opening its doors to two bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room, and a bath.
The folks had bought and remodeled this former luxurious and spacious three story mansion right on the town’s Silk Stocking Hill for their church building. The third floor was ours, while stories one and two transformed into the church, educational rooms etc.
Both Bill and I knew that God was ordering our journey there, with our new penthouse apartment twenty steps up and excited Christians who yearned to win folk to Jesus Christ.
The folks had prayed for a pastor who would tell the Jesus Story of how that Jesus died for our sins, and that “Whosoever shall call upon the name of the LORD shall be saved.” Romans 10:13
They loved Jesus Christ and longed to tell the same story to folk they loved and cared about. The people subsequently followed Bill as he taught them how to win their friends and families to Christ.
Tom Ratliff, a giant in the faith, a soul winner, local business owner, and a friend to everybody in town, knew where every lost person in that town lived. He teamed up with Bill and they began knocking on doors, and yes, telling folks the Jesus Story.
Bill, burdened for lost folk, and empowered by God, went with a passion, twelve to fourteen hours a day to win them. Furthermore he pastored believers, taught from the Bible of how God instructs husbands, wives, and children. I taught and counseled women, children and youth, then, as a special fun assignment, directed the church’s Christmas play.
Men, women, and youth trusted Christ as Savior, husbands and wives fell in love with each other anew, disciplined their children, and the list grew. God blessed and multiplied our work exceedingly while Community Baptist Church of Milledgeville reached out to our community for Christ.
It was February 14. Year, 1959 time, in the afternoon before a valentine Youth Banquet, while Bill and I, along, with some youth workers decorated the garage (educational building) for the banquet. Somewhere in that time frame, our expectant son, Steve gave signals of his immediate coming. I told Bill, “I think I am having our baby now!” “You had better not!” Bill was thinking of the youth banquet, guests and of an out of town guest speaker.
You have a boy!” Dr. Flexman announced. Steven Lynn Schroeder arrived around midnight, Saturday, not too well planned, since Bill had to preach Sunday morning; hence he left the hospital after midnight, knowing that he could not see his son again until after church on Sunday evening. Needless to say, he pulled pastor-string status, and came back Sunday night after hours to see his son.
Read Bill’s account: “God gave us a son, very tiny, and handsome, he was our, first born son. I wanted the world to know, I kissed his face over and over. This little life I hold in my hands will someday grow into a man of God. I am proud! But suddenly I remembered that I should be back at church, so I left my wife and son, started back to church; but then again, I thought, ‘Somebody else can do that,’ I turned around, and drove back to the hospital. Of course I got back in; I’m a Pastor, and a Dad!”
God, our Orchestrator, suddenly directed with a stunning crescendo introducing a totally new ministry for my Bill. News of my husband’s work for Christ had reached a south suburb of Chicago.
A NEW CHALLENGE FOR BILL
In the fall of the year 1959, Oak Forest Baptist Church, Oak Forest, Illinois, voted100% for Bill to pastor their people. He accepted.
Bill Schroeder, a city boy for life, was home again, people everywhere! His heart full, he challenged the folk in OFBC to tell the Jesus salvation story throughout their upscale suburb, a potential goldmine for Bill, meaning there are people behind every door who would go with to Hell without Jesus Christ! Bill Schroeder will go to them for Jesus.
This Oak Forest Baptist Church Family followed Bill’s example, knocked on doors, shared the Jesus salvation story to people who hungered to hear more, and God honored this message. In time, the auditorium along with Sunday school rooms was crowded, so that we needed a new building! Carpenters, contractors, and tradesman stood by, eager to start building, so Bill, the pastor, consulted an architect for professional plans, which the folk loved.
Satan attacked behind the scene using the church’s resident contractor who wanted to draw the plans and to contract the job, for himself. Money driven, he quickly stirred up a disagreement among the members dividing God’s people. Should we use the professional architectural drawings, or take a contractor’s unprofessional plans? The folk liked professional design, but the contractor was a friend. At this hot spot, God called, “Halt!
My labor pains started, God was giving us a son, right then. (Who cared about building?) I call that, something which writers label, dramatic relief. Saturday morning, November 19, to be exact, I just knew, called the doctor; he said, “Come in fast”. He did not know that my husband needed a shirt ironed, for Sunday preaching; I did what I had to do. We were off, running to a morning full of the unexpected. Nurses, on alert, gave me a shot which sent me into a twilight zone, almost no painful labor, and since labor always lasts longer than we expect, Bill ran out to a nearby bookstore for a quick book pick up.
Bill takes the narrative. “I kicked myself for going to the bookstore. When I got back, Kit was no longer in the labor room; only her nurse stood by, in the hall. I asked, “Where is my wife?” “Mrs. Schroeder is in her room; congratulations, you have a baby boy’! Shocked and annoyed; “Yeah!” I had missed the doctor’s announcement that I had a son, however, I was with Kit when they brought in Bill Jr. in for the first time.”
“We are alone with our new son. My heart is filled with joy and pride. He makes child, #4. I am a proud Dad! Holding, him kissing him, I want him to know that I am his Dad. I told him so, with no response. Well, maybe a little bit, I told him that Jesus died on the cross for him; and promised God that we will give ourselves to train him – a man to honor and to serve Him.”
No mere words could tell the emotions we felt in the miracle of those moments, our own son, a miracle of life in the person of a baby boy, from God’s heart to us, Bill and Kit Schroeder.
Mom and Dad Updike lived far away in Bedford, Virginia, but I longed for them. “They too would love to walk in our room; and to hold their grandson, William Frank Schroeder, II, to love with Updike love, to talk to and to pray for Bill, but Bedford was so far away that, like Mama said, “It might as well be Africa”.
Meanwhile back at the church building, the world kept turning, and the contractor kept plotting. Satan kept working nonstop, fighting pastor’s architectural drawings. Business meeting night arrived; church members met to vote on the new building dreams and Bill, architectural drawings in his hand, prepared to present them to our church body. He opened the floor for discussion. Abruptly, our resident contractor took the floor and said, I quote, “I want to make a motion that we fire the Pastor!”
Within seconds, a young convert stood to his feet and said, quote, “Tonight we are starting a new church in my house, if you are interested, come on over now!” Just as quickly, about ten families, in favor of the new church idea, loyal to Bill, stood to their feet, and did, “come on over” to meet in this brother’s house.
What about the pastor’s dreams and work; did all of these discourage this, pastor? Of course, but hear what God was doing in this pastor’s inner man,” Bill had stated privately, as if prophetically, “Starting a new church is not a burden.”
Praise God, this fiery baptism at Oak Forest Baptist Church never destroyed God’s plans! No! God redirected our heart’s desire to tell the Jesus Story to folks without Christ.
That red-letter day we, a new team, looked away from Oak Forest Baptist Church to focus on God’s awesome, plan designed blueprint, and of how he directed us to tell the Jesus story in Oak Forest and other surrounding suburbs.
FIERY BAPTISM TO POTENTIAL WORLD-WIDE MINISTRY
Of course Bill did not know God’s mind, that He was gathering excited believers to start a new church which would grow and expand into a worldwide ministry, an outreach for Christ; nor did he know that this same church would send teachers, pastors, and Christian workers to pastor churches, and to teach, in the USA and around the world.
This time, God orchestrated in His major key, His theme, to Win folk to Jesus Christ.
Did Bill know God’s plan? During this testing phase of his life and ministry, he only knew one thing for certain, “This one thing he knew, by faith, God called me to preach.” So, day by day, Bill trusted God to build His church, as Bill followed the Bible design.
Miracles began to follow. Mr. Medema, the general builder/contractor of the El Vista subdivision, gave us the use of one of his model houses for our Sunday services, which offered a perfect floor plan. The garage lent itself perfectly for church services; one bedroom for a baby nursery, then our youth met in the living room and so on, and on “ God” provided, need I say more?
God’s handpicked staff had eagerly volunteered to teach and to fill places in every department, so that we worshipped the Lord formally as a church every Sunday, to the praise of His glory!
Set for the Lord’s business, this church, a people, ie., deacons, teachers, Christians, whom God was choosing gave God their money, their lives, their evenings, energies, and prayers to get the Jesus story out to folks where they lived.
Bill knew exactly where to start, and how to reach people in our Oak Forest suburb; he copied God’s plan as explained in the New Testament. We, a team of special Christians, longed to share this Jesus story with our family and friends. Calvary Baptist Church, a miracle in progress, grew into a mini army of folk who felt a personal responsibility to tell their lost family and neighbors about Jesus Christ, about His love and His power to save them from Hell.
How awesome was that! God was choosing my Bill, and placing His hand on our family, Dawn, Steve, Bill and me, we five, learned as Bill trained others to tell the Jesus story, not because everybody did it, but rather, God was teaching us to love and care about folks who would go to Hell without Jesus Christ. We, Dawn, Steve, Bill, and I, also God’s chosen, were thankful to work with Bill, serving our God.
A NEW HOUSE AND CLEOPATRA,
Constantly, orchestrating behind the scenes, God held an “over abundant, more than you can ask or think,” miracle for the Schroeder family. Rich, a dedicated Christian man, found a big new and hard to sell house in the El Vista subdivision, one block down the street from Calvary Baptist Church. Maybe we could buy what sounded like a “pie in the sky” deal, the biggest model house in our new subdivision.
God stayed close; we prayed, refigured the rent allowance, and prayed again for our American dream, maybe …. . If we cut something from our budget again, this American dream, with sacrifices, was in sight! Of course we budgeted every dollar, gave God His tithe off the top, ate low cost, nutritionally balanced meals, and watched God fill the money holes, as at Christmas, birthdays, or September, for school supplies, for projects, for music lessons, for swimming lessons, for other needs. Then God made His miracle happen!
Today, our mailbox boasts, 14849 Mission Avenue, the Schroeder house, soon to be dubbed the, Schroeder Sheraton. Sheraton, because in time we would offer housing to others, our first guests were Pastor Bob Wallace, our youth Pastor and Betty, his wife, an exciting, godly couple with hearts for youth in Oak Forest; they lived with us until they found their own housing. Following them, Pastor Keith Webster, pastor to the deaf and hard of hearing with his family, stayed in our Schroeder Sheraton, and founded an outreach to deaf and hard of hearing.
“When can we move in, when can we move, Dad?” Finally, the sun came up and laughed with us on that miracle moving day. Dawn, Steve and Bill ran through this big house to choose, “I want this room,” but the size of the room plus the number of children, dictated who could claim each one, consequently, Bill and I moved into the master. The boys got the next choice . . . but only Dawn got her own private room!
Though new and shiny, the floors wore no carpet; nor the windows drapes, but that’s ok; all will come as God smiles upon us. Nonetheless, my new up-to-date kitchen was just waiting and ready to store all of my dishes, crystal, sterling silver, pots and pans! Yes. I could entertain formally in a beautiful dining room. AND, Yes! We call this big beautiful house, HOME!
Oops, one thing missing, Bill must have prayed, secretly, for his very own dog, his suppressed desire. Mom and Dad Schroeder rented apartments where dogs were not allowed! We will never know for certain, how the following story originated. God knows, whatever, it was a
Monday when Gene O’Brien, Bill’s friend and fellow pastor, knocked on the door at 14849 Mission Avenue. Bill opened the door, and there stood Gene, grinning, cradling a registered Doberman Pincer puppy. That little guy looked straight into Bill’s eyes. Surely, love at first sight connected them, a truth Bill admitted later. He had longed for his own dog, for years. (I, Kit, never had to suppress my dog-desire, since Daddy kept farm dogs outdoors, furthermore, farm dogs lived outdoors. I agreed with my Dad.)
If we needed a majority, my vote did not count. Nonetheless, hear the happy ending. Bill promised to, and did, take full ownership, i.e. to feed, to walk, and to train Cleo forever, as an aside; I did love/adopt her as well. Her birth certificate read Cleopatra Von Blade Schroeder, fitting her royal blood line. In no time at all, she found her place in the family, ran with Steve, Bill and with Dawn; every time Dad came in the door, was a true “welcome Dad home” party. Truth be known, Cleo barked the moment she heard his car stop, alerted me to announce, “Daddy’s home!” In’ seconds, Dawn, Steve, Bill, and Cleo ran to give him hugs, oops, Cleo gave him dog kisses, wait a minute, Daddy says,” Mom gets the first of Daddy’s kisses,” that was ok too.
BILL WORKED FAST TRACK – KIT ALLURED HIM
I often praised and thanked God for prayers answered, for church moving forward, of course Bill visited, often late into the night introducing lost folks to Christ,
“Wait just a moment, Kit, there were nights when you did not say, thanks to God for those late nights”. True. I waited up for him, and started thinking, “He loves me, our love is Like Magic, when he is home, so I must allure him home to me early.” I prayed, “Dear God, Please teach me some masculine secrets to allure my Bill home early, or is it possible that success and it’s like magic love can actually co-exist?
It was Tuesday, not a regular visitation night, yet Bill went visiting, and hours were ticking away. My clock in the TV nook read, eleven ten p.m. Dawn, Steve, Bill and I had talked, and shared a read-aloud biography. As far as they were concerned, all was right with the world (I often felt smug in the fact that ours was an enviable family), but, that night, at this hour, I had no husband!
“I, Kit Schroeder, married to an outstanding pastor husband, and an amazing Dad, longed to allure him home earlier. Am I selfish? God called both of us to ministry and commanded him to win folk to Christ. I know in my heart of hearts, that he aches to win them (I support him in that) but. . . I also ache for time with him” … at 11:30 pm, that ache started spreading into anger, and …the clock kept ticking the minutes down. Thinking, thinking, thinking, of the days he sent friends away so we could live out our dreams, but not tonight.”
“Tonight I sat up and waited, and waited, and waited for him; why did I leave college to marry him? He was so eager to be with me that asked me to marry him in mid semester, and I did.”
Finally, at eleven-thirty p.m. I saw the top of his greying hair as he came up the stairs. “I’m sorry it’s this late, but we had great time; John asked the Lord to save him, and then, when we got home Andy started to open his heart about Sue and his problems.”
“Kit, listen to me”…
I did not want to listen or talk, I headed straight to bed. No snuggling but, turning away from him all the way to my side of our double bed. I lay there hurting and angry inside.
“Kit, listen to me”…but this time, I spoke my heart. “At this hour, sure, I’m sorry, I really don’t want to hear about Andy and Sue, I just wanted you, all by yourself, see, I dressed for you to come home to me, hoping that you were longing to rush home to me; do you care that you disappoint me?”
Abruptly, my conscience warned via a familiar verse, Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry, and do not sin,” do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” v.27 “nor give place to the devil.” These words resounded louder and louder, until slowly, fearing God, I turned over to my husband.
“Kit, I’m sorry that I disappointed you; I did want to be with you, but you must understand that God gave us to these folk to win them to Christ. Nights are the best time to find them at home, furthermore, God sent me tonight for Andy and Sue, but yes, I really should have called.”
“I understand that God does send you to hurting folk; and I do accept your apology.” (Then, it was my turn to try to feel his hurt.) “I’m sorry for attacking you, but I felt like I was last on your priority list; sure God sent you tonight and honored your calls. I was … yes hateful. Can you forgive me?”
Yes, I forgive you.” We each forgave, because we feared God when He commanded, “Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath”. It was hard, yet we bent our stubborn wills, explained our reasons, forgave, and made peace.”
Forgiving is a grace-miracle which God gives two people who love each other. Forgiven, we kissed, prayed, and loved again, then awoke to the new day with a clean slate. God’s grace triumphed before Satan conquered us both. It was ok.
It really was ok; we had peace. Nonetheless, I did not want to live that way, always. Pondering further, I asked myself, what is God teaching me, and what does He think of this night? I had grieved God and hurt Bill simultaneously;
True, God had counseled us through a painful night, gave us grace (God’s miracle) to forgive, to love and to want to keep our “IT’S LIKE MAGIC LOVE tomorrow, and to never repeat that night, of hurting one another again.
Pondering the next day: “Is it really possible for Bill and me to keep living our “It’s Like Magic Love?” Are we disillusioning ourselves in this, our real world? I asked God for His insight.
KING SOLOMON’S LOVE STORY
I knelt by the sofa, and talked to God seriously, “Please show me if You want Bill and me to keep loving with “It’s Like Magic Love” for life”
I believe that, in answer, God led me to re-read King Solomon’s passionate love affair with his queen, the Shulamite, where He even dramatized “It’s Like Magic Love” in a three act drama!
”To my Reader: Watch for three phases of love.
Act one: King Solomon’s royal bedroom suite Solomon and his Shulamite wife whisper their “pillow talk.”
Solomon: “You are beautiful and wonderful, my love, when I am with you like this, the universe is ours- only ours. Your kisses are like are the best wine, my beloved”.
Shulamite Wife: “I am my beloveds and he desires only me.” Kiss me; the kisses of your mouth tell me of your love. Your love is better than wine.” Your lips, taste like honey and the smell of your clothes is like the smell of the finest perfume.”
King Solomon: “You are beautiful, my love, very beautiful. Your hair is like spun silk, your teeth, like the finest pearls. Your lips are like a thread of scarlet, and your lips tell me all that I long to hear my wife say to me.”
Act Two: Palace garden beneath the royal suite –Love of friendship. Solomon calls her from across the palace lawns:
Solomon: “Wake up, come, I found the lilies you love, there’s even a parrot, in the olive tree, the one we saw yesterday.”
Shulamite: “My husband is so excited; he must have found something delightful.
He’s running, like a deer, he is right by the gate, looking up at me through the lattice!
Solomon: ‘Get up, my love, come with me. See, the winter is gone, the rain stopped; its nice out. Even the flowers have come up and are blooming. You must see the green figs, and the vines with tender grape smell great. Get up, my lovely wife. Come you’ve got to see lots of things, I want to show you. Hurry. Take my hand; we can revel in beautiful nature together. Shulamite: “My beloved is mine, and I am his.”
Act three finds her in the royal bedroom suite, waiting for her husband.
Shulamite: “By night on my bed I waited for the man I love. But he did not come, “Was he robbed, beaten, or perhaps . . . killed?”
Shulamite: “I cannot wait longer. I will look in the city in the streets, and alleys. I love him and must find him. I searched, but I did not find him. The watchmen that go about the city found me: to them I said, ‘Did you see the man I love?’ It was then that I found him whom my soul loves: I held him, and would not let him go. I brought him into my mother’s house and into the room where she conceived me.”
Narrator: He holds her securely in his arms; while they bare their hearts, and whisper love’s language, which only God could inspire.”
Shulamite: “My beloved is the highest honored man among ten thousand. Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal on your arm; for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave. Many waters cannot quench love; neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.”
The curtain fell and I whispered, “It’s like Magic.” “Oh God, I know that You want Bill and me to share “It’s Like Magic Love” every day, for life. So I vowed, “I will keep living it, every day for my life.”
Winston Churchill, though dead, still lives, and he challenged me with these two words that he shouted to his countrymen, while German armies marched on England, “Don’t quit!”
Add to his words a compelling thought from Mary Kay Ash, world famous, beauty consultant -entrepreneur, “It just takes an ordinary woman with extraordinary desire and determination to succeed as a Beauty Consultant”.
More determined, I, this ordinary woman, with extraordinary desire vowed, “I will keep our “Like Magic Love” growing, trusting God to teach me His plan and to keep our “Like Magic love.” “I will not quit!”
So, Dear Reader, I, Kit Schroeder, ordinary woman, with extraordinary desire, started there; and worked with what I knew, turned on my personal charms, studied male psychology, experimented, and had fun with my games. I knew that I could allure my husband.”
Join me on this part of my journey, for another chapter of my true story. These are normal, yet, fun games that husbands and wives play, and they often grow love,
Drakeford writes of some as written in the book, Games Husbands and Wives Play. Do not “park” here. There is better ahead . . .
YES IT IS A MAN AND A WOMAN THING
Not only woman, but man also, longs for “It’s like Magic Love”.
First off, the man, he longs for his own alluring wife, recalls their pricey, fun dates, when he spent dollars and hours with her, and loved every minute! My Bill filled empty dates on his college calendar, so that we could sit in our dating parlor.. together.
During college breaks, he loved me enough to hitch-hike from Chicago, Illinois to Bedford, Virginia to spend a couple days with me.
Certainly woman plays her most alluring games on dates so that man will ask her to go out again. What happens to this “it’s Like Magic” love after the wedding? Is it vowing the wedding vows? Does she grow stale and content in her staleness?
My Christian friends loved their mates, were they content? “Was their love “like Magic?”
I did try to obey God and submit to my husband. I guess I’ll never be a Sarah. God’s plan worked every time, but it was not easy; I did have a mind of my own, disagreed with Bill, obeyed and shut my mouth, and then again. I thought, “I knew I was right while he was wrong”; still… I feared God, obeyed mechanically, and kept quiet.”
Nevertheless, after a few days/hours, I resented submitting, until, very discouraged and frustrated, I blew it all, failed my God, and the man whose “magic” in love, I yearned to enjoy.
Ashamed! Defeated, I confessed to God and my Bill. I tried, I failed again. I really tried to just submit and to obey, and ruined it please forgive me.
God forgave and thank God, He gave Bill miracle grace, to forgive me. Oh, that I could claim that I never blew up again, but I would be lying. In dismal frustration, I put my hand over my mouth when I thought hateful, hurting thoughts, but they often exploded uncontrolled. I thought cruel hateful, hurting thoughts.
Like my Mother said, “It’s like hitting your head against a brick wall.
I knew what that meant and dropped Sarah temporarily I admitted that Mrs. First Peter Three was too perfect for me to imitate, nonetheless, God commanded me to imitate her, so I salved my conscience, excused myself, like this, surely this: “I don’t think God wants me to obey Bill in this, or, surely God agrees with me, here, etc., etc.
In conclusion, I could not imitate Sara or Mrs. First Peter three, consistently. “This ordinary woman with her ordinary desire” kept praying, researching, until, seemingly, out of the blue, a new and hope-filled door opened…I met a very romantic pair of alluring wives.
IS THERE A ROLE MODEL I CAN COPY?
I vowed to keep our It’s Like Magic Love, but knew that we could lose it. Consequently, I searched for a role model for the magic for myself and for other women. I kept searching, after marriage, while holding on to our “It’s Like Magic” Love. Abraham’s Sarah kept her magic, won all the wife honors, and God titled her, Mrs. Universe, from Creation to Eternity! Her husband loved only her, when other wealthy husbands married multiple wives. Noteworthy, a foreign king heard of her beauty and bartered with Abraham for her to make her his queen. After Sarah died, Abraham took five women to fill her place. Did she play wife games; what kept her “It’s Like Magic?”
God did tell all women what Sarah’s mysterious, and alluring charms were ; it is not just how to wear the hair, to wear jewelry, to dress in high fashion clothes; but rather, it is the hidden person of the heart, the quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which God calls precious.
God told exactly how a wife can win her husband. I Peter 3:2, 3, For in in this way in former times, holy women who hoped in God, made themselves beautiful, being gentle to their own husbands.” “Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him, lord” and you can have that same power if you imitate Sarah, obey your own husband, with a meek and quiet spirit.
MY ROLE MODELS? TWO ALLURING WIVES
Charles Dickens introduced two alluring wives, Dora and Agnes, whose husband loved each with Its Like Magic Love, He tells his story in the classic novel, David Copperfield. Her name is Dora. Her name is Agnes
This could be the end of my search! I would learn the secrets of those two, possibly hidden in the story line.
Dickens introduced Dora whom David met at his boss’s dinner party. From the first moment, she attracted him to the point of distraction so that he could hardly concentrate on dinner conversation, he said, “I loved her to distraction.” David continued, “I had loved her every minute, day and night, since I first saw her. Lovers had loved before, and lovers would love again; but no lover had ever loved, might, could, would ever love, as I loved Dora. I could never live without Dora on any terms. I couldn’t bear it, and I wouldn’t.”
One night circling her house, all alone, thinking aloud, he bared his heart: “I, the moonstruck slave of Dora perambulated round the house . . . to shield my Dora, I don’t know from what, I suppose from fire, perhaps from mice, to which she had a great objection.”
What were her charms? She was pretty, playful to the extreme, girlish, to a fault, fun and very dependent, yes, and she adored David. Huge!
She was certainly no homemaker, David had wanted to impress his Boss, to flaunt his wife, and his house with a fine dinner; for this he planned, and marked the dinner date on his social calendar for Dora to see. Sadly, Dora only half cooked the roast as well as other foods; neither did she instruct the cook about his guest.
That catastrophe behind, David gave her a cookbook which made her cry because she had disappointed David, whereupon, he felt ashamed, put the book to rest, then comforted her by calling her his “child-wife.”
Imitate her? I, Kit, did not want to “go there” but I longed to allure my husband for more time with him, so I sometimes shut my eyes, gritted my teeth, and acted more girlish, I needed my husband, and pulled away from my perfect homemaker, perfect-wife-image. Was that important? I asked my Bill to describe his idea of time an evening with his wife:
“I could take her out to dinner, a play, or some nice place to have fun with her. At dinner we could talk. There is nothing I could not tell her. She would not condemn nor give me flack, air no grudges, and be happy just with me. There is nothing she would not love to do for me. We would crown the evening with love, we two becoming one.” (1 point for Dora.)
OK, I promised, I will try to be less sophisticated, and to be girlish, to laugh more be more fun, and “It’s even ok to cry for no reason.” Victor Hugo, In Toilers of the Sea, lovingly described his Doucette, “She cried over a mouse that the cat haply dragged in, or the end of a novel, be it ever so stupid.” Yes! It’s ok to be a girl; she is alluring to a man.
How long could Dora live out her childishness and hold David’s “It’s Like Magic” Love? Some of the “Magic” paled as Dora tried and failed homemaking, (just the basics.), like cooking, cleaning, even instructing the servants.
Dora did keep living out her child ways; David did love her and even shared his business problems with her. But then again when she pled, “Please don’t tell me any more sad stories,” he wrote, “I loved my wife dearly, and I was happy; but the happiness I anticipated once was not the happiness I enjoyed and there was always something wanting. An unhappy feeling pervaded my life, as a strain of sorrowful music, faintly heard in the night. What I missed I still regarded as something that had been a dream of my youthful fancy; that was incapable of realization; that I was now discovering to be so, with some natural pain, as all men did. But that it would have been better for me if my wife could have helped me more, and shared the many thoughts in which I had no partner; and that this I did feel, sometimes, for a little while, that I could have wished my wife had been my counselor; had more character and purpose to sustain me, and improve me by; had been endowed with power to fill up the void which somewhere seemed to be about me but I felt as if this were an unearthly consummation of my happiness that never had been meant to be, and never could have been.” (Page 683)
Charles Dickens’ narrative took David through years of loving his “child wife,” but finally, using his writer’s freedom, and with a stroke of his pen, declared Dora fatally ill; and sent her to Heaven. (My version)
Though I could allure my Bill with my girlish, playfulness, I could not set Dora up as my role model.
David took a couple years leave of absence, grieved for Dora and to write. Then Dickens, with another stroke of his pen, brought Agnes back into the storyline, a beautiful, domestic goddess, counselor, longtime friend of David’s, and a girl who had loved David years before but Dora had stolen him from her.
Agnes had never stopped loving him. David writes, “Whenever I have not had you, Agnes, to advise and approve in the beginning have seemed to go wild, and get into all sorts of difficulty. When I have come to you at last, I have come to peace and happiness. I come home now like a tired traveler, and find such a blessed sense of rest!” (P.555)
Dear Reader: What can I learn from her? I want an “Agnes kind of life,” to complete my husband, as his counselor, an orderly, restful home, and I will keep It’s Like Magic Love, watch what evolves . . . in Kit Schroeder’s house!!
Imitating Agnes, the domestic goddess, in my house on Monday, surrounded by dirty dishes, strewn clothes, books, toys and papers from a full weekend, I asked myself, how will I ever get this house in order, like Agnes?”
Feeling neither domestic goddess like or beautiful, I started cleaning our bedroom. Bill’s coat, which he had flung across the chair, seemed to scream at me. “That does it; he knows I have more things to do than pick up after him!” With that thought, I opened my mind to stored up complaints, which, flew into my mind, “He expects too much of me; I never have special time, for our children, nor for myself while my church friends shop, make crafts and coffee together, I don’t have time for those special things.”
Thinking, thinking, I met Bill at the door after work. So, “When can we have long evenings together, or I to have time to go out with my friends? “Why didn’t you hang up your coat; don’t you know I can’t be picking up after you all the time? I never have time for the children or myself.”
Bill, stunned, because he had no idea what I had been thinking all day, listened, agreed, and apologized for his clothes laying around. Yes! He would fix it! I won a battle, but only for the moment.
So long, Agnes! Going Forward, “Let’s be Real,” Agnes, though an irresistible girl and (I did learn magical girl games, that made our love more like magic), could never stand the test as my role model every day.
Enough of fictions women, Psychologist, writer, and medical doctor, Marie N. Robinson describes a psychologically normal woman. Fascinated, I compared myself to this credible woman.
AM I A NORMAL WOMAN?
Marie N. Robinson searches minds and hearts of regular women, such as our shopping, and coffee drinking friends. A Cornell educated psychiatrist, Dr. Robinson, devoted her New York City practice, to the treatment of frigidity. Her book, The Power of Sexual Surrender (1958) is a revealing study of the feminine psyche.
Dr. Robinson writes that a woman’s identity lies in an “essential feminine altruism.” Her self-expression and power are based on making her husband and children her first priority. (Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, “it is not good that man should be alone, I will make a helper, suitable for him.)
“Men and women are different by nature,” “Her physical form, intellect, and social status may vary from higher to lower levels. But some things are evident from her inner self. She is very much at home in the world.”
Deep inside herself, she feels profoundly secure both with herself and her husband. She is very glad to be a woman with all the duties and responsibilities and joys it entails. She can’t imagine what it would be like to be a man and has no interest in imagining it as a possible role for her. The finest flower of altruism blossoms in her joy in giving to her husband and children. She never resents serving them as a burden and imposition on her. It is the ‘givingness’ that motivates her to keep her equilibrium . . . her joie de vivre despite whatever may befall.
When a woman does not have this instinctively based altruism available to her, or she denies that it is a desirable trait, life’s continuous small misfortunes leave her in a glowering rage, helpless and beside herself with self-pity. “Power of Sexual Surrender” pp46-47
She enjoys a deep faith in God. To her, marriage is sacred – children are a gift from God. Her sphere of influence can filter down for generations. The normal woman feels secure with her husband. He intends to love her. He may be a carpenter or architect, lawyer or dockhand, but with her, he is a lover, and friend.
This normal woman sets realistic goals, develops her talents, and gets things done. She knows how to love and enjoy happiness, fully satisfied mentally and sexually. She doesn’t get too excited about a career. She’s willing to work if it is necessary for her family’s welfare, but only if it is of central importance. She’s not jealous of her husband’s work, nor complains of what she had to give up. Her joy is fulfilling her destiny as a woman. Her husband loves her with tenderness.
How do immature women feel about this normal woman? Patients of Dr. Robinson are angry, even resentful at her. They call her the victim of the male, the impossible ideal, a faceless tramp, or even a shameless hussy. Yet, the yearning question inevitably follows, “Do you really think I could ever get to be like that?” The patient is scared blue of sex and motherhood and all they mean.
Am I, Kit, a Normal Woman psychologically?
One characteristic after another, I checked myself by Dr. Robinson’s analyses and one by one I felt set free! Yes! I am a woman and I like being a wife, and mother, I do not need to prove anything, I enjoy my responsibilities. Thankfully, God gave me a good mind, I can reason, plan; keep my house, and fulfill my nesting instinct. I can understand, be intuitive for my husband and children, I enjoy giving, I do not feel walked on when I serve, I do not resent, or fear being used. Confident in God and myself, I am content in my skin called, normal. I can act out my girlish instincts to play, to escape my responsibilities for a day, to shop, or even do some undignified thing, if I feel like it.
Reaching into a woman’s heart, I reflected on this story of playing a woman’s game, of “its ok to cry for no reason”.
One evening in our dream home in Mokena, we watched the movie, Little Women. In this scene, Daddy came home from the war, and surrounded by his wife and all of his girls, except Beth, recovering from a near fatal illness. Even so, she bravely summoned all her strength and stood at the top of the stairs. With eyes only for Dad. She did not see the fine piano, which her neighbor had delivered for her. All watched breathlessly waiting for Beth to see the piano. First, she hugged her Daddy then, she saw her piano, and jubilantly, ran her fingers across the key board. Emotions spilled over until I cried along with the March Family, in girlish fashion; I felt Bill watching me, I heard a soft chuckle, and then felt his arm tighten around my shoulders, as if to say, “I love my little girl.”
Yes! It’s ok to be a girl; she does allure her husband. Little by little God began turning His spotlight on man’s heart, for me to see, only tiny glimpses of insights therein. Strangely then, it seemed, God called a Halt to my journey.
ENTER JESUS and ZIG ZIGLAR
Financial circumstances can hold us in a vice, and they changed the course of my journey. Dawn’s wedding cut us short of funds. Bill made a decision, and declared, “Kit, you are going to have to go to work, we spent too much money on Dawn’s wedding.” “I knew that, but she is our only daughter and she so deserved it.” He agreed. About three months later, I was interviewing with our Real-estate broker friend. Immediately, on a fast track, I found myself studying for a real estate license, and on into the fascinating whirlwind of real estate!
God orchestrating my journey directed me into the next charm ourse, Nobel Thoughts. There, l met a famous professional motivator who, in one sentence, incentivized me to grow to a higher level personally, to sell more houses; and surprisingly, to add magic to my already, “like Magic love.”
Did God really orchestrate this? Is real estate a different kind of charm course? The answer is, yes and yes. Watch what God orchestrated! Mike, my real estate broker, scheduled a Success Seminar to boost his house listings, sales, and to motivate all to compete with one another.
Listing and selling houses fascinated me. If I had little time for my Bill; or vice versa, or if I thought he ignored me, I would be angry when he walked through the door,for that, Zig Ziegler offered, “Stop your Stinking Thinking’; throw negative, critical thoughts away before they crash your dreams! “If you think an evil thought, put your hand over your mouth.”
Surely I did reach my goal of selling houses, and of living out our It’s like Magic Love every day; I determined, “I will think powerful thoughts about my business, my husband and my children.
Zig whetted my appetite to learn, then “probing beyond Zig’s wisdom”, God spoke, “A good man, from the good treasures of his heart (mind) brings good things.” Jesus Christ taught similar wisdom to thousands of people from a mountain top, “Replace the ugly with beautiful; if you feel sad, think: God is standing by and longs to comfort you. If you feel humiliated, think God promises that one day you will inherit the earth.” (Read more in Matthew 5)
The musical, Sound of Music dramatized a similar theme, featuring a brand new nun, turned governess, who found herself, in a great house with eight unfriendly children. That dark night, a fierce thunderstorm blew outside, frightening the children out of their beds, and sending them running into the teacher’s bedroom where they jumped on her bed, and cried out in fear. Calming their fears, she taught them this song:
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember
My favorite things
And then I don’t’ feel so bad.
These happy thoughts transformed fears and hostile children into happy children as they sang these words.
1 Samuel 25 God topped all in His true story of Abigail, a brave and beautiful woman, who saved her life, the lives of her family, her servants, and even her entire estate, by thinking of and of sharing with David good thoughts and memories of David’s kind heroism, and goodness. Abigail honored David despite his threat to kill her husband along with his estate.
As this account goes, David, with his army, had protected her husband, Nabel,’s cattle from thieves or wild animals out in the desert, asking, in return, only food when his army were hungry. Nabel, ungrateful, crude, and rude called David a low-life, and refused him food. It did not end there, for no one dared to devalue the professional services of David’s soldiers hence; David took this as an insult. True to desert laws, he vowed to annihilate Nabel, with all that he owned.
Meanwhile, Abigail, having overheard her husband swearing, bragging that he refused to feed David’s desert army, laughing at David’s threat, went, to work immediately. She ordered her servants to prepare enough wonderful food for David’s army, then to pack it on the donkeys’ backs.
Without taking time to prepare herself to meet the great general, Abigail mounted her horse, long hair flowing in the wind, sweat mixed with sand and make-up, she and her entourage came galloping to meet David and his army. When she came face-to face with David, dismounting from her horse, Abigail fell on her knees, prostrating herself before David, pleading for herself and her servants.
“On me, my lord, on me, let this iniquity be! And please let your maidservant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your maidservant.
“Please, let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal. For as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him! But I, your maidservant, did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent. 26 Now therefore, my lord, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, since the Lord has held you back from coming to bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hand, now then, let your enemies and those who seek harm for my lord be as Nabal. 27 And now this present which your maidservant has brought to my lord, let it be given to the young men who follow my lord. 28 Please forgive the trespass of your maidservant. For the Lord will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord fights the battles of the Lord, and evil is not found in you throughout your days. 29 Yet a man has risen to pursue you and seek your life, but the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the Lord your God; and the lives of your enemies He shall sling out, as from the pocket of a sling. 30 And it shall come to pass, when the Lord has done for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and has appointed you ruler over Israel, 31 that this will be no grief to you, nor offense of heart to my lord, either that you have shed blood without cause, or that my lord has avenged himself. But when the Lord has dealt well with my lord, then remember your maidservant.”
If Abigail could win an angry General, surely I could add more magic to our love,
I did not wait but imitated Abigail, and shared my good thoughts about my husband with him.
A few weeks following, He got home from the office, kissed me and said, “When I turned in our driveway today, my heart skipped a beat, just thinking of seeing you.”
My beautiful thoughts about the man I love paid beautiful dividends and kept paying.
At the end of softball season, during OFBT’s annual softball banquet, the emcee asked Bill to challenge our athletes; I watched him walk to the microphone, confident, godly and very handsome, I felt a surge of pride. “He is a great man, and he is mine”. Later, back at the table, I told him my thoughts. Squeezing my hand, my previously stoic German husband, kissed me right under the crystal chandelier!
I am indeed where I am and what I am because of what I have entered into my mind.” Zig Ziegler.
“A good woman, from the good treasures of her heart brings forth good fruit.” Jesus Christ (Matthew 12:35)
“Thank you God.”
WHO IS IN MY HOUSE? CHRIST OR SATAN?
Bill and I enjoyed an amazing It’s Like Magic Love, which, our children make just perfect. I go on record to say that our Family is the best; please join us in the Schroeder living room this evening.
Bill Schroeder, our awesome family man, plans for family intimacy times; we look forward, to being together, just the five of us. Usually he gets home in early afternoon and talks in the living room with Dawn, Steve and Bill, before supper.
Bill takes the narrative from here. “Cleo starts barking, and Mom calls out, “Dad’s home,” the kids gather in the front room where Dad sits on the couch. “Who’s first? Of course they would say, “Me first.” Then, one by one, so I had to determine who had the floor first.
Sometimes it was wise to start with the oldest, and then I must break the tie between the two boys as to which came first, that way each had his turn to talk to Dad and to tell his story of the day.
Hopefully they finish the story before Mom calls out, “Supper is ready. All of us, including Cleo, head for the kitchen.”
I, Kit, am in the kitchen; and love to, on occasion, make special family dinners, set a formal table, and pretend we are an elite family, eating a four-course dinner in a grand restaurant, of course I cook and I serve in our own lovely dining room. We, unaware, but were making memories, very special ones.
I quote Jesus Christ, Who sets the pace in the family who invites Him and promises, “I come that they may have life and have it more abundantly”.
Sadly caught off-guard, I did not formally invite Christ to the following scene, so the Thief appeared. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” John 10:10
I had no idea of Satan hiding behind the door of my mind; and he, determined to steal our happiness, dropped a veritable bombshell in front of Bill and me.
Of course, Bill knew how I resented his trying to sell me on health foods. Hence, that lovely day twisted and ushered in a war the moment Bill handed me a health foods nutrition book.
Matt, from church, convinced Bill that we should eat “health-foods”, a route that just did not fit my fancy. Bill had tried to sell me on the idea from time to time; my answer remained the same, professional nutritionists have proven these are extreme, scientifically. Resulting in this my answer, I stood firmly, “Not here, I have had it, up to my ears”.
Once and again Bill was attacking me, a Home Economics major! Inexcusable, I wrote nutritionally balanced weekly menus, of tasty low budget meals, by-passing the luscious goodies that we could not afford, items such as whipping cream, cream cheese, nuts, and luxuries for gourmet recipes that I had long since filed away. Besides, I had all sorts of creative ideas for treats for our children, foods they loved: an occasional bottle of pop, chips, and such, nonetheless, I said “no” to them, I thought, “someday”.
But, on that day he wanted me to spend more food money on “health foods”; I rebelled. With that health food book in hand, I instantly slid through the exit door of nice thoughts, neither thinking of walking with Christ, nor aware that Satan was waiting there, ready to seize my thoughts, the very thoughts that led me to enter Satan’s door, into his war zone.
God did not let me go further. Louder than the battle sounds of my thoughts, God spoke, “Obey your husband.” I balked, “Lord, You know that I am right. It is my kitchen. Bill reads one nutrition book, and now he thinks he is an expert.”
Positive thoughts? Forget you! I only wanted to get those health-food nutritionists out of my kitchen; they seemed to “come out of the woodwork” to back me in a corner. I shot sarcastic arrows at nutritionists without restraint. Bill must see my side!
Surely God agreed with me on this count. That inner voice spoke louder and louder, “Obey your husband.” The knots in my stomach came so often that they felt at home there. I cried with Paul, “The good that I will to do I do not and the evil that I would not, that I do. “Oh wretched woman that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God, through Jesus Christ our Lord, so then with the mind I serve the law of God, but with the flesh, the law of sin.” Romans 7:24, 25
That inner voice (God’s Spirit) persisted, until finally, Doug Roberts, M.D. author of, To Adam With Love, stunned me, with a truth; I was not playing wife games, but I was defying God, and blocking all of It’s Like Magic Love, for which I was searching. It seemed as if Roberts pointed his finger at me when he wrote,
“When he comes home, his wife, with her razor sharp tongue, cuts him to shreds. With a few sharp words, she cuts down whatever remains of his manhood. She couldn’t hurt him more if she hit him between his legs with a baseball bat. Robbed of his pride, dignity and self-esteem, he grows defensive and withdraws.” (To Adam with Love.)
I could never have even dented Bill’s manhood, he was too strong a leader for that, but I never wanted to hurt him. Nonetheless, I saw shades of Kit Schroeder in that wife! ”Convicted, and ashamed, “Dear God”, I need God’s grace”; this led me on an unexpected path.
Dr. Robert Smith, a medical doctor and counselor-teacher, taught a Biblical Counseling Seminar in Oak Forest Baptist Temple, Oak Forest, Illinois. In which class I enrolled. Surely Dr. Smith, specialist in both science and the Bible, would tell Bill the truth, that health food diets were extreme, and he would close the case forever. Maybe, yes, maybe, he would tell Bill to “Stay out of my kitchen”.
Breathing a sigh of hopeful relief, I waited for the doctor after class, fell in step with him, and confided, “Dr. Smith, I find myself attacking Bill at random.” I said nothing about health foods, still without speaking, he opened his Bible and held it as I read these words: “If ye stand praying and have aught against your brother, forgive as Christ forgave you.”(Mark 11:25)
Instantly, God showed me I was angry at Bill that I had not forgiven him, Christ said, “Forgive, as I forgave you.” I did forgive him. Miracles unfolded then and there, in such a way that I remember, even the spot where I forgave my husband, from my heart, yes, instantly!
I buried that huge PACKAGE of hurt, anger, bitterness about health foods, in the deepest sea, that day, I was free, to the praise of His glory! My stomach knots vanished, God lifted a heavy burden.
In mere moments, Bill entered the class room, and invited me to lunch; spilling my story to him, I confessed: “God just showed me that I had a bitter spirit toward you for criticizing my menus. I was wrong for attacking you. Can you forgive me?” He hugged me on the spot, held me close, and whispered, “Sure, I forgive you. Thank you.” In my heart I heard him say, “Now I can finally talk to you, and you will listen. “ Years later, he told me what he felt.
“When I came up with a newly discovered health idea, I thought the powerful vitamin principle would make us healthier. I knew we were healthy, but I thought you would get excited about it, too. As you know, I always got shot down. Soon, I felt like Columbus when he said the world was round, and everybody else thought it was flat. Any of the stuff I’d hear was really unimportant, and I had no input on the matter. Your mind was set. So I did not even mention it because I knew your reaction already. Of course, you knew your attitude, so when you asked me to forgive you, I was shocked. I did feel closer to you because an area of disagreement had vanished, and. Yes, I loved you more.”
GOD’S OWN HIDDEN BIBLE PLAN IN ONE POWERFUL WORD
I’m asking God to reveal His hidden mystery of how I can lure my Bill home to me more often; I want him for whole days and nights to shop, to swim, to watch a movie, or to just take a walk. It seems impossible since hundreds of folk need my Bill, for godly counsel, making wise decisions, or for comfort.
I compete for his time factually, I compete with Bill’s Chicago Gospel Hour Audience and with our wonderful Oak Forest Baptist Temple Family, until I wonder, “Is it possible that I could lure him to find longer evenings with just the two of us for our It’s Like Magic Love?
Clearly, it’s up to me since he is in demand. One popular writer of woman’s books packed volumes in one sentence. “Man longs for admiration from the woman he loves, equally as a woman longs for love. Without it, he feels alone and lonely.” Post haste, I made a list a few of his great talents, and admired him, he liked it, and sometimes came home earlier from visitation, or sat longer when we drank coffee, just the two of us.
Yes, I found the hidden mystery, and my husband is so amazing that merely thinking about his great qualities and achievement’s makes such a list that I shower him with nice thoughts. Sometimes . . .I do hold back, pondering, how often can I admire him, without his suspecting that I am playing a game, or flattering?
Oops! Just as I feared, he caught on, though, I was not flattering, he suspected me, pulled away, and even ignored my compliments. Back to God, I went and just talked to Him, “I was not flattering my Bill, Your answer has to be in the Bible; please show it to me. ”He revealed His hidden mystery in nine Bible words:
“Let the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
It seemed as if God flashed a thousand spotlights on His hidden mystery, reverence, which means admire, but more powerful, not what I ought to do, but what I want to do, what I feel from my heart. Face to face with God, I had to answer Him, “No, I did not reverence my husband; I had tried to please Bill, but I marginalized (weakened) God’s command and deceived myself, but in that moment I must answer Him. “Dear God, I am ashamed, please forgive me.”
Hours later, I still pondered until it became clear to me,” l was cheating my husband of what he longed for from me, that being, that I reverence him.” By the end of the day when he came home I, broken, compassionate, all bitterness melted, met him at the door, took his hand, and led him into our living room, on 14849 Mission Avenue, Oak Forest, IL. There, opening my heart, I confessed, “God showed me something today that I never saw before, that I should reverence you. “You are a wonderful man, deserving my highest admiration, respect and honor; I should have revered you all these years, but I did not know; I cheated you of something you must have longed for from me. Can you ever forgive me? “I thought he would say, “You are a good wife”, which he often did but no, he simply said, “Yes I forgive you.” His eyes, his face, his entire persona told all, and I knew that God was opening my husband’s heart to me, of other days, years when he yearned, but with empty yearnings. I read the bottom line clearly, “You finally understand me.” In that split second, he held me close and long, I silently prayed, “Oh God, that’s it. You are showing me the Century Hidden mystery of what a strong man longs for from his wife, but can neither request it from her, nor dare to even breathe it, that she would reverence him!”
Questions, questions, kept popping up. Just exactly what does it mean; a wife should reverence her husband? More imperative how can I reverence my husband?
“Dear God; I will keep knocking/seeking God’s resources in the awesome word, reverence”.
Do all other wives know that God commands a wife to reverence her husband? I hear no other wife saying, that she reverences her husband. Why? Does she understand that God commands her to do so? Does she fear God?
At that moment, I feared God, for myself and for other wives who unknowingly ignore God’s command as I have. Isaiah, God’s prophet, called to God’s people “Ho! Everyone, Come to me”.
I believe He is calling to all God fearing wives: News Alert! All God-fearing wives! Stop! Listen! “Let the wife see (grasp, understand, perceive) that she reverence her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)
HOW DO I REVERENCE MY HUSBAND?
What did God mean when He commanded: “Let the wife see that she reverence her husband?” Dear Reader, I must tell you step by step, as God was walking with, teaching me what reverencing my husband means, and how to do so. He did not Gmail a scholarly outline but rather started walking with me.
I researched the meaning of that, new/old word – reverence, a word which wears a halo, but is pregnant with God’s hidden mystical power.
Vine’s Bible Dictionary defines “reverence” from the original Greek, word, PHOBEO, translated “reverence;” it is the same word used to describe adoring God. Note: Webster’s Dictionary supported Vine’s definition.
American Webster’s dictionary defined it, to admire, to trust and to honor. These three words became Power Points and compelled me to monitor my attitude to my husband on those three levels.
Honor – do I honor him as my husband, as father to our children?
At dinner that night, I consciously honored, trusted, and admired Dad, during dinner chatter, Dawn, Steve, and Bill caught on fast, and loved it. Their informal chatter told me that the word reverence had muscle.
Honor, in Greek means to look away from all else to one person, respect, show deference to; the same word used to honor the king, parents and widows these emotions flow from the heart.
Honor – Webster – To regard with profound feelings mingled with love, awe, and to respect.
Trust- Do I trust his decisions, his spending and his counsel?
Admire- Do I find his admirable qualities and encourage him with the same?
Dr. Clark Lindsay, professor of Greek at Northland Baptist Bible College reviewed and confirmed the scriptural accuracy of my definitions.
Adding further, unnamed affirmations, I have asked other Greek and Hebrew seminary professors to review my manuscript; each has agreed that God commands a wife to reverence her husband.
Pastors who invited Dr. Bill Schroeder, and me to speak on the family during our five year speaking tour in the US and abroad, gave unanimous approval. I previewed my subject with each host pastor, before speaking to his ladies.
I, Kit Schroeder, by the Divine authority of God’s Word, vow to reverence my God, by obeying His order, “Let the wife see that she reverence-admire her husband” Ephesians 5:33.
Today I will admire my husband.
Man, Longing to impress the woman he loves, often does things around the house, but sometimes she is too busy with the children, or other things to notice or to even to care.
When he achieves, like a time bomb in its countdown, man desires to achieve, to lead. These tick off in his soul, compelling him to make it happen.
In victories even the famous but lonely performer, in his hotel room, with no cheering crowd, feels restless to share, to relive his triumphant moments, in the arms of one who admires him for life.
Man must win, driving himself harder when he loves a woman, for in his heart, he longs to please, to support and to win for her. She gives him purpose.
George Washington fought first for his wife, Martha. Designing battle plans, risking his life, he sacrificed personal fortunes for her and for our country. Hungry for her applause, he penned this letter, while awaiting a crucial attack on Fort Duquesne:
“We have begun our march for the Ohio. A courier is starting for Williamsburg, and I embrace the opportunity to send a few lines to one whose life is inseparable from mine. Since that happy hour when we made our pledges to each other, my thoughts have been continually going to you as to another self”.
Is this only true of the Christian man and the gentleman? God promises that reverence may melt the toughest man.
“Rocky Graziano, a record-breaking heavyweight champion, drove himself to win for the woman he loved. Rocky, unloved, a beast like man to his fans, made his first round with a heavy weight champion his goal in life. Rocky went the distance for the woman he loved. Getting the applause with a battered and bloodied face, he cried out for his girlfriend. It was her applause that really mattered. She rushed through the crowd, seeing only him, with genuine love and admiration for her hero. He was great in her eyes. That was his prize, his victory!” Suppose she had not revered him that night.
There is a basic need for most men to be good providers, even a hero to someone. The whole point of being a hero, of winning the prize, is to have someone with whom to share our success long after the shouting dies. That makes the effort worthwhile and complete.
Susanne, a perfect homemaker, occupied with her children, and church office, failed to see the hero in Carl while, he, dreaming of traveling, of giving her and the children everything they wanted, begged her to dream with him. Turning away, she only laughed at his dreams, but another woman listened; enthralled, she won his love. He tells his story, “It all started innocently at work. Mary said, `You really are a good looking man, nobody had ever told me, and I had to longed for Susanna to admire me. She seemed not to hear or believe that I could build my business into something that would make a difference for our family and for God’s ministry. She even shrugged off my ideas, chiding ‘oh, why aren’t you content with what we have’? I showed her a luxury apartment in downtown, Chicago, where I often dreamed of our living. She wasn’t interested. I invited her to dinner in some of Chicago’s finest restaurants; she could rarely leave the children. I often pondered, ‘Is she blind and deaf to my dreams?’
I guess Mary caught me off guard that day, but I felt really good about her compliment. Did she believe in me! Hungry to tell my ideas, to a fascinated person, I talked with her at the coffeepot, and invited her to lunch. My feelings were so euphoric, that I thought of her as that of a college boy in love for the first time. Then Gradually I found myself thinking of, dreaming of a life with her. Now it is too late to turn back. I love her”.
My friend asked me to talk to his wife, but she shrugged off any counsel. Trying a different route, I gave her a book, which had opened my eyes to my husband’s heart, only to get a third brush off, a couple of weeks later, I asked, “Susanna, how did you like the book?” “Oh,” she said, “I haven’t had time to read it”, but she found time to make her house like a showpiece.
Was his loyal wife innocent? One day she revered him, won his loyal love, and then settled into a comfortable, Christian marriage, another woman, not his wife, spotted his giant, and she got him!
Was Susanna really obeying when she ignored God’s command, “let the wife see that she reverence her husband”?
Everywhere I have told this story; (in scores of fundamental Bible churches across America and in some foreign countries) ladies agree that Susanna is guilty too.
A giant is born the moment a son is conceived, and if nurtured, he grows. Listen for his giant as a little boy is building a Lego tower or riding a two wheeler, and you will hear him shout, “Look, mommy, look! Are you looking”? Moving up through puberty and teenage youth, schools pay thousands of dollars transporting cheerleaders to applaud athletes; “You’re Number 1!” During the last quarter of a losing basketball game, all hope gone, our Oak Forest Christian Academy excited cheerleaders ran on the floor, cheering with all their hearts, “You’re Number 1!”
Michael Angelo’s colleagues watched him scoping for a giant in a rock, for an art subject; the rock was headed for the garbage dump. One friend, mockingly commented, “It’s just a hunk of rock; there’s nothing in there to see.” Continuing to analyze it, Michael Angelo replied, “I see an angel in that rock!’
If Michael Angelo could find an angel in a rock, surely I can find the giant in my husband and in my sons. Does not God give me a clue from these fascinating thoughts? In no time at all, I found the giants in the men whom God gave me.
Driven by God and his inner giant, to win folk to Jesus Christ to save them from Hell, my husband constantly preaches the gospel, and personally witnesses to hundreds and thousands of unsaved and hurting people for Jesus Christ. Starting in his community, he even net-worked the good news of the gospel abroad through missionary candidates sent out from Oak Forest Baptist Temple. Birthing Chicago Gospel Hour Television, he preached to the millions of unsaved in greater Chicago every Sunday night! In his retirement years, he, as an associate for his son, Steve, planted a church in an area where many thought “It can’t be done; where folk think they neither need, nor desire God.”
I see giants in my husband, also in my sons, and son-in-law. Looking for giants in my grandsons, I remind them, “A Schroeder or a Davis and God can do anything”. “I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me” (Philippians 4:13).
My Son-in-law has a Giant – Dawn’s husband, John, pastors, shares the gospel and earned three seminary degrees, including a doctor of Theology.
My Son and pastor, Steve earned his MA, while founding, staffing, financing and administrating Victory Homes for Boys in Northern Wisconsin, where boys and parents reunite, with God and with each other. God then led him to plant a church in a Chicago suburb, (where many pastors said, it cannot be done). This new plant, required that he also add support for his family of eight, for which he established a delivery business, until the church could support him full-time. Today, he pastors full time in Grace for Life Bible Church, Naperville, Illinois.
The giant in our son, Bill, writes, he aced sales in two different mortgage companies; he staffed, managed, and built up a Chicago Mortgage company, then launched his own painting business. Today, he trains sales teams for Retriever’s corporation
Reverence finds giants in those who are reverenced by one who loves them.
“Dear God, How can I feel reverence for my husband every day”? Dr. Bob Jones Jr., then chancellor of Bob Jones University, spoke at Oak Forest Baptist Temple, and simultaneously accepted our dinner invitation. Ecstatic, scared, I planned. “Everything about his visit must be perfect”. Scheduling a 12-hour work schedule, loving every minute of it, and ready, I welcomed Dr. Bob at the door. He must know that we feel honored that he came. Of course, I took his coat, gave him a coke, listened as he talked, and served him graciously at dinner, as a man of his distinction deserves. I wanted him to be glad that he came.
Abruptly, my reverie ended. Bill Schroeder, far more important to me than any dignitary, Dr. Bob, or a chancellor of any university, enters that door every day.
He loves me, gives me a lovely home, and family, feeds and clothes us. I am the most important person in the world to Bill Schroeder; really, he is the only person in the world to whom I am the most important.
For those and numberless other reasons, I will convince him that he is my dignitary, my honored husband whom I eagerly welcome home. Yes, I want to make him comfortable, and to serve him graciously, when I have time for gracious serving.
No longer do I envy Solomon’s Shulamite, because Bill and I are living our own “It’s Like Magic Love.” I share a small part from one of Bill’s letters.
“How time flies! We have discovered many exciting heights together. Our love has grown to great proportions; your love has touched me to depths of my heart. Just to know you love me . . . my wife . . . my Kit.
With all my love, Your Bill.
“Oh God”, “Thank you for the Magic; Bill not only loves me more, but I am beginning to see his heart, please teach me of how to make reverencing my life-style”. And so, God is taking my hand, and leading me to a mentor.
Sarah, My Mentor
“If I only had a mentor who reverences her husband . . . she could teach me how to reverence Bill on good and bad days.”
Thinking these thoughts, I walked through Bible accounts of Sara, imagining what it might be like, to have a private visit with her.
Dear Reader, This allegorical narrative follows after reading Sara’s story which parallels the Bible story of Abraham and Sara, do come with me.
Did God hear my thoughts and send someone, or did I imagine that knock on my front door at 11 Kohlwood Drive?
I opened the door and my eyes were quickly drawn to her fiery diamond collar, like one I saw in king Tut’s Museum. Could she be royalty? Though dressed grandly, in sharp contrast, she cradled a small wooden chest in her arms, which she held almost reverently, as if it held a treasure.
Taken aback for a moment, I found myself staring. She smiled, like an old friend, while I sheepishly regained my composure. “Were you looking for the Schroeder’s?” Surely she must have the wrong house. “Why yes,” she answered. “God sent me, He said you had been asking what it means to reverence your husband; He said you keep repeating these words, God commands me, but I don’t know how.” Bewildered, I wonder, “Who is she?”
Waiting patiently for me to invite her in, she postured herself like a queen. Her braided white hair, wound artfully around her head was perfect, except for a few wispy curls, refusing sophistication, freed themselves, framing her oval shaped face. I guessed, by her flawless, olive skin that, maybe she looked fortyish.
She seemed to be studying me so intently that I wondered, , ” is she reading my thoughts; “what does she know of me? Is she a psychic? How could she know that I have so loved my husband, that I search for new ways to please, allure him? I only told God, beside those things. Whom else can I tell? My husband is a pastor! Anyway, how can I know that God sent her?” Yet, her tone of voice, her eyes, tell me that she knows more about me and my love life or lack of it than anyone else. Noting my hesitancy, she reaches out touching me gently on the arm, “I am Sarah, you have read and re-read my story, analyzing me, trying to learn what I am like. You thought I could mentor you, but I seem inhuman, cold and out-dated, like folk in a history book.” Mindful of my in-hospitality, “Oh, yes, forgive me, please come in,” I manage to ask. Pinching myself to be sure that I am not dreaming, I lead her into our living room, while mechanically doing the hostess thing of seating her. “What do I serve this royal lady? Grape juice of course!” Comfortably seated and already sipping fresh juice, she spills her mission.
“God sent me to mentor you because you study my life, trying to copy me, as God commands all women, to do, calling me, a role model for all wives. Genesis 17:15 “And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.”
“Princess”, model for all wives. God specifically commends me for reverencing my husband, calling him “lord.” “God chose my husband to father the Jewish race. He was richer than kings of his day, powerful, influential, respected and feared by powerful citizens and, armies, his private army chased the king’s army who kidnapped Lot and his cattle, retrieved Lot and all that they stole.”
“My husband loves and indulges me in every luxury I desire; you can be sure that I furnish our tent like a palace, even you thought, by my dress, that I am a queen.”
“There’s more, kings coveted me for their palaces; most important my husband loves me so completely that when other wealthy men married many wives (to boast their fortunes) he wants only me. Yet, (smiling smugly) at my death, it took Katura and six concubines to comfort him.”
“Even more awesome, God protected me when two kings wanted me for my beauty. Their ruthless soldiers would have killed my husband, taking me over Abraham’s dead body; a man’s life meant nothing when the king lusted for a lovely woman.” Shuddering as if recalling, she speaks forcefully, “I hate it when women crucify Abraham, calling him selfish and cowardly for allowing the soldiers to take me; he was neither, he risked losing me, his only wife, whom he loves more than anything else in the world; I was all he had. We had no other choice. Fasting and praying together, we believed that God would protect me. I would do it again!”
Reminiscing, as if still awed, she relayed this unusual story, “One day, God commanded my husband to listen to me, and send Ishmael, Abraham’s other son, away; my son could not grow up with Ishmael, whom Hagar had taught of her Egyptian ways. I told Abraham so, but he did not listen, how could he part with Ishmael, his son of 11 years?
However, God agreed with me, ‘Listen to your wife,’ He said, while I hastened to add, I did not teach Isaac to hate Ishmael; as you must have read. Years later, these 2 brothers mourned their father’s death together” (Genesis 25:9).
“I had a greater responsibility,” she went on. “As Abraham’s wife, father of God’s most loved people; I became the mother of this race, a role model. Chosen, by the Lord of Heaven and Earth, I must know royal protocol as this great man’s wife? “I had neither library, nor Bible in those days, so God sent an angel who gave me this chest.” Patting it reverently, Sara resumes. “The angel challenged, ‘Follow the instructions to the letter; guard it with your life! Do not show it to anybody until you find that special woman, who seeks to reverence her husband. God will show you who she is.’ Handing me the chest, she reassured, ‘You will know her immediately. Never fear.’”
As I reach for the chest, Sarah continues, “I know that God taught me something powerful. Since I long to please God, learn royal protocol, and to delight Abraham, I drank to the fullest from the teaching of the scrolls and followed everything the wise scribe of the scrolls wrote.”
“Miracles followed, just as you read from your Bible of me.” Voice choking, lowering it to a whisper, she continues, “I could hardly believe when God changed my name to Princess. Centuries later, as you know, God challenges all wives to imitate me.” “Tragically, women of the 21st century mock my secrets, ignoring God’s commands, and die longing for the love they never taste.” Holding her face in her hands, Sarah began to sob for those millions of wives who ignore God’s master plan for love and marriage, grieving Him and robbing themselves of love. Though empty, accepting mediocre married love, many die with the longing crying in their hearts.
Sarah summed up her mission, “Enough of that. Today we celebrate, because God is choosing you to hold the chest, and learn from its power-filled scrolls. I hid them for centuries while searching for the woman who would reverence her husband. Though many come close, talking of respect, they never quite understand the real heart of reverencing first God, then their husbands.”
“This morning, from the moment you opened the door, I saw it in your face, read it in your eyes, and hear it in your voice that you are committed, researching, and trying with all your heart to reverence your husband. Yes! I feel a kindred spirit with you. Now, if you want to obey God, you will follow the codes in these scrolls, you can become my daughter, meaning that you can know and become a wife whom both God and your husband will love and protect beyond your wildest imagination.”
Feeling humbled and privileged, I ponder, “Why did God choose me? Who am I?” Yet there she was, and there was I.
Reading amazement in my face, she encourages, “My child, I did not know why He chose me either. I shall never forget the day He sent this chest to me.”
Distracted from the mysterious old chest by her fascinating story, I suddenly am drawn back to it. She almost reverently strokes its worn surface, from time to time.
Like a child on Christmas Eve, I wonder, “Can I see what is inside?” As if reading my thoughts, she returns to her mission. “That’s enough talk; now for my mission. God asked me to give this chest to you. It holds the scrolls, on which are inscribed simple ways to reverence your husband every day.”
God is answering my prayers! I whisper, “Thank You, God!” Addressing Sarah, I question, “You understand Hebrew; how can I read the scrolls?” Laughing, she assured, “God took care of that, see, I, a Hebrew woman, am talking to you in English.”
With that, she hands me the mysterious and worn wooden chest. Still as if in shock,, I take it from her. Just how long I held and stroked it, I do not know. But she urges excitedly, “Go ahead, open it.” Lifting the lid with trembling hands, I discover three parchment scrolls, placed side by side, worn, and yet miraculously preserved. Each is numbered.
Before I could lift the scroll marked “1,” she holds up her hand in a warning signal. “You must not read ahead. Master the first, before reading the second. Follow these instructions to the letter. Read the first scroll three times each day, once upon rising. Read it again it with the noon meal. Finally, read it aloud just before going to sleep at night. Do this for thirty days. God will transform you by showering you with His grace. Your husband will love you beyond your wildest dreams.”
“How does God transform you? As you read, God’s Holy Spirit will reprogram your conscious mind, but more powerfully, its message seeps into that mysterious subconscious mind, where God works. He transforms your thoughts, beliefs, convictions and attitudes. Each morning you will awaken with new vigor, and hope, seeing deeper into your husband’s heart as the day wears on.”
“When it is hard to practice what the scrolls teach, know this: Satan has poured his thoughts in our mind for years. You must replace those thoughts with God’s thoughts. To do so, practice the instructions on the scrolls. If it is hard for you, do it anyway, for if you do it often, it becomes easy, and pleasant. If it is pleasant, you do it frequently, and it becomes a lifestyle. When it is a lifestyle, it becomes your will. You will know happiness and love beyond measure. Its power will filter down to your children, and your children’s children.”
“After 30 days of reading the first, then go to the second scroll; repeat the same instructions, and so on until the messages of these scrolls imbed themselves in your heart.”
“When it becomes your lifestyle, you will stand tall among all women. Others will want a marriage like yours. God will use you in a new ministry for scores of years, sharing the words of the scrolls. In time, you will indeed lead an army of great women for God against Satan’s attacks on the wife. I believe that when you face Him, He will applaud you. “Well done, good and faithful wife.””
“Upon my completion of this course, God changed my name from Sarai to Princess. And my husband nearly worships me. See what God wants to do with and for you.”
Fascinated and humbled, I clasped the chest to my heart; fell to my knees by the couch, before God. “Dear God, thank you for sending Sarah. I commit myself to You to learn from these scrolls.” Rising from my knees, I look for Sarah for further instructions, and to thank her, but she had vanished. It wasn’t a dream. The chest was real; I stand by my couch stroking the strange little chest, eager to go forward. Surely God will be glorified as I begin my journey of reverencing my God and my husband. May these miracle thoughts become as natural as breathing and His commands, be honored, adding more love to our already “It’s Like Magic Love.” “Dear Lord, empower me to internalize your God-given instructions on these three scrolls inside, this beloved chest.”
POWER POINT NUMBER ONE – ADMIRE HIM
The papyrus scroll aged by centuries, unrolled slowly, cracking here and there . . . MIRACULOUSLY preserving that powerful, mysterious, word, reverence, which encapsulates the word admire, from the heart. Admiring a man is more powerful in touching his soul than the most deadly arms in warfare. An army can destroy a city, but only the unseen power of admiration can melt his heart. Students of male behavior find that deep in man’s heart, he longs for the woman he loves to admire his ideas, dreams, achievements and his very soul. It is all-important to him; for he can neither demand nor request her admiration
Man, thirsting for admiration from the woman he loves, drives himself to achieve – working, sweating, confident, creative as the man God designed him to be. This man encouraged by the woman he loves may feel stronger, more confident even to seek God, and to reach for His goals.
If she admires him, she can win his deepest affection; if she does not, he feels cheated, unfulfilled and empty. If his wife grows insensitive and ignores his accomplishments, his inner man may withdraw, if he is strong, he may turn bitter, fight her; even more threatening, he may find someone who will admire him.
Today I will admire my husband. I will admire his bravery; he protects me from fear, the bravest of all brave men in my world, often empty-handed banishing my “unseen” or present burglar, silently boasting, “I am your fearless protector.” I am never afraid when he is with me.
Today I will admire my husband. For his courage to stand alone for right, to obey Jehovah.
When he knows that Jehovah and his wife stand behind him In temptation, energized he wills to do right, to obey Jehovah, to honor his marriage vows, to covet no concubines.
For all these, and more, today I admire him. Though lesser men would humiliate or try to destroy him, he heeds them not. Though friends admire him and he deserves it, he longs to hear from me. Today I will say, “I am proud to bear your name.”
Today I will admire my husband for his spiritual integrity. Therein lays the conscience of the whole man; as the heart feeds every cell in man’s body with life giving blood, so spiritual integrity guards his mind and heart in every decision.
When a man’s spiritual integrity is questioned in the marketplace, the pressure is on, he must make a decision; compromise means loss. All eyes watch to see how strong he is, what he will do, if he will compromise for money. A mere split second passes, he declares, “I cannot compromise my convictions ”(God honors truth and right), in these moments of temptation, when his friends scorn his convictions, held intact by his principles, he stands as the mountains, victorious, unmovable, a man among men, God’s strong servant. I am his proud wife.
Maybe I help to sooth his battered spirit. Maybe, just maybe, I win the deep love of my giant. As I admire him today, it may offer him the link, which holds together the chain of his convictions.
Today I will admire my husband.
He is our hero, dreaming of giving his family the best of music, of sports equipment and of every pleasure or educational opportunity affordable, of a house in the country, of his children in a private school, or of luxury trips. He studies and works long hours, without complaining, prides himself in his skills so that he can make his dreams a reality. Does he resent his work?
A wealthy man, once a slave, worked fourteen years, paying for his wife’s dowry. He said it seemed like a day’s work because of his love for her. Genesis 29:18-20, “And Jacob loved Rachel and said I will serve you seven other years for Rachel, thy younger daughter. 19 And Laban said, “it is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me. And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.”
Today I thank God and admire my husband for providing for us to live comfortably, and I uphold him — our family hero. His heart will be full and his works seem lighter.
I will admire the man for finishing the job under pressure, if only a hair of encouragement will incentivize him through the hurdle to his dream, and then I have honored God’s command, “reverence your husband. When others try to discredit, to usurp his authority, I will listen to the conflict story, and stand loyal to him again. He will attack this hurdle with assurance, I will support him.
How will I admire him? From my whole heart, though he craves it, he also fears it, as all men fear surface admiration called flattery. Some of history’s wisest and best kings, influenced by flattering wives, weakened and even lost their kingdoms. “For the lips of a strange woman drop as a honeycomb; her mouth is smoother than oil.”
Today I admire my husband; he answers with these words:
- How do I love you?
- Let me count the ways
- “I love you for what I am when I am with you
- I love you for the part of me that you bring out for putting your hand in my heaped up heart and passing over all the foolish things that you can’t help dimly seeing there, and for drawing out into the light All the beautiful things that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.
How do I love you?
I love you because you are helping me to make out of the works of everyday life not a reproach but a song.
Today I will thank God for teaching me this powerful concept and ask Him for wisdom to admire my husband more. (signed, Kit Schroeder)
Power Point Number Two -TRUST HIM
Yes, it is true, that God commands the wife, to trust her husband, sustain peace, and order in her home, and to stir a deeper, “It’s Like Magic Love” in his heart. “Let the wife see that she reverence/trust her husband.” Ephesians 4:32
My husband loved me on our wedding day when I vowed to entrust my life to him, a trust that reached into his soul, stirred his deepest love for me, at this same moment, our witnesses felt our love, sighed and whispered, “They are made for each other.”’
Every husband created in God’s intrinsic image, longs for his wife to trust him, and may feel empty and alone when she does not.
Whereas, the previous facts are true, and whereas, I love my Bill Schroeder, I, Kit Schroeder, in respect to my husband, and in reverence to God, vow that I will, by God’s grace, trust my husband with my life and daily care, and never leave him feeling empty and alone.”
Today this ____ _____of ________ With awesome reverence to God and with trust in and understanding for my husband, I make these affirmations:
Today, l vow anew by faith, to trust my Bill, I will lean on His presumed integrity and uprightness, in this way, I first, trust/obey God. I will trust his ideas. If it is hard, I trust Jesus: “If ye keep my commandments, (and trust your husband as I command you) ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.”
Today I will trust my husband . . .
I will trust his dreams, so he can dream greater. I trust God to lead him. Should he move to a distant city, stay near his parents and friends? Should he buy camels or land? God will honor his decisions, for God appointed him to order our family.
Today I will trust his decisions.
God commands me to trust his decisions. Believing that God ordained my husband as our Family Leader, ordained him to make family decisions, I trust him. I may contribute my ideas, but not dictate the final decision. Hebrews 13:17 “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.”
When Marcella opened her private beauty shop, her husband, talented craftsman, offered to build a shop in their home which she refused, until God convicted her. When she released him to God, for the final decision, he designed and built her shop with each station that her professional services required.
Today I Will Trust My Husband.
I will trust his counsel, I trust God to give him wisdom and understanding for our family, God gave Adam wise counsel “do not eat the forbidden fruit,” trying to protect Eve from Satan’s lies, but she hated his counsel, did not trust Adam, or God, and suffered the consequences.
I will trust my husband, whom God ordained, with wisdom to discipline our children. By faith, he disciplines, freely, wisely; our children will honor their Dad, and more willingly trust Jesus Christ, the Savior.
I step back, and dare not step between our leader, and God who appointed him for the job.
Today I will trust my husband.
I will trust his spending, to make the final financial decisions, for he answers to God, and to creditors. Mary Ann answered the door bell to meet two young men from the neighborhood, who were raising money for their school. She said, “I have no cash”; they asked, for a check, for which she found her husband, who gladly told the men “No.” For Mary Ann, the pressure was off, for Husband, Good Job! No sweat!
Today and tomorrow I will trust him.
It gets easier in my New World of trusting God, in chorus with that, of trusting my husband.
Our lives are more peaceful than when I fight for my way, and plus that, he loves me more tenderly. A certain pastor leaned back on his couch, sighed deeply; “How much greater it would be for me, if I only must answer to God!”
Did his wife not trust him to make decisions; did she “”thrust herself between him and God? I could feel his heaviness, and the longing for his wife to trust him, I could sense no tone of a loving husband, only an indescribable emptiness!
I trust my God, when He commands me to trust my husband.
POWER POINT NUMBER THREE – HONOR THE MAN
He is a pastor, a banker, an attorney, a teacher, a successful business man, and a hard working citizen, I tell him, ”I’m writing a book, quoting God’s command to the wife, “Let the wife see, that she reverence, honor her husband,” he stops amazed, and listens, as if captivated while I tell him my story.
“Yes, that is what I long for from my wife. Please let me read your book.”
I wish my Reader could have seen his face, as I saw him that moment (It broke my heart). No man sticks out his chest with arrogance, rather his face, tells of his empty longing/suffering.
This Man longed for his wife to honor him because God planted that longing deep in his intrinsic spirit. When God first created man, He unveiled the deep secret desires of man’s spirit for every wife to see, when he told the wife, “God created man in His image,” deserving and longing for honor, also meaning that man thinks, feels and longs for trust and honor even as God does, from all mankind, but man intrinsically longs for honor from his wife.
Matthew Henry, noted Bible Commentator, describes man as, a [i]reflexion” of God’s own glory, formed from dust, created in God’s intrinsic image, man breathed God’s own breath. “God breathed into his nostrils the breath of life”, and declared man to be a living soul.” God entrusted this honorable man with His amazing new world, in charge of every green plant, of every animal, fowl and sea creature. Genesis 2:18.
There is more, God declared, man, His final authority in his family. 1Corinthians 11:3 “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” v.7 “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. Exactly as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:24
As I read, that moment, God spoke to me so clearly that I knew I was not merely reading a familiar Bible story nor researching data, but that I, Kit Schroeder, faced my God, “Did I honor my husband with the same honor, as, the church honors Christ?
Not really, because I often analyzed, questioned, and then slid over God’s command to the wife, excusing or deceiving myself. To be honest, I disagreed with God, “I think,’ I know better than Bill does in this issue,” or yet, “God understands that I am right.”
God declares that His Word is sharp and cuts through to the heart. I played with fire. Romans 2:15 “Which shows the work of the law written in their hearts; their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts between accusing and excusing one another.”
Ashamed, and broken, I confessed all, “Dear God, I am wrong! Please forgive me!” Forgiven, yes, but God had to try me yet again. I did not expect what happened that very night. God tested my confession of guilt, did I really mean it or was I playing games with God?
Satan attacked Kit Schroeder; it was real, even as he attacked Eve so many milleniums ago, when she blatantly, shamelessly hated, then defied God’s command.
Bill said, “Lets go to bed early tonight, 8:30, wow, then half an hour later, lights out at 9:00! Unbelievable, but actual.
We know Eve’s failed story, and that Eve disagreed with God’s command which God spoke to Adam, and Adam relayed to Eve as, “Thus God commanded, do not eat fruit from that tree.
She disagreed with AND disobeyed God. God pronounced His curse on Eve, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, In pain you shall bring forth children; Yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you..” Take Note of the word ‘desire.’
In the year 2016, God still passes that curse on woman, Kit Schroeder’s desire shall be for her husband and he shall rule over her. “
She is cursed with the same desire. What is that desire?
Moses illustrates what “sin’s desire” means, in Genesis two, where God warned Cain of “sin’s desire” Some have taught that it is a kind of abnormal sexual desire she would have for her husband. No no! Sex is a beautiful gift, there is no connection here.
God explains sin’s desire in this, Cain’s story. God had rejected Cain’s bloodless sacrifice, but accepted that of his brother Abel’s, a blood offering.
Cain, angry, jealous, met the Lord, and the Lord rebuked Cain with a kind warning, “Why are you angry, it’s written all over your face? If you do well, (offer blood sacrifice) you know I will accept it. And if you do not do well, and refuse to offer the blood, sin’s desire is crouching at the door of (your mind), it wants to destroy you, but you (Cain) must rule over it.”
Sin’s Desire. It is described in animal terms—like a lion or tiger hiding by a door (of your mind); you open the door, and there sin is, crouched, ready to strike/attack. Or maybe the author wants us to think about a snake here, a serpent like Satan, coiled, waiting, and the moment that door is opened, it strikes, to destroy!
Return to Eve in Genesis two, God told the woman, “Your desire shall be for your husband, (to dominate him), and he shall rule over you.”
When woman dominates her husband, she tries to replace God’s family structure, of, “and he shall rule over you.” Here God commands a husband to love his wife and to lead; He commands the wife to joyfully honor her husband’s leadership.
When the wife dominates, there will ever after be a power struggle to dominate, because woman’s bottom line, her desire, is to push her husband out of his place of leadership! God placed this very curse on Eve and simultaneously on every woman after her. That curse is on me and on my wife-readers, et al.
Every wife struggles to submit to her husband. The ESV puts a little note in the text explaining that the word for could also be translated ‘against.’ The woman’s desire shall be against her husband—against his God-given position of leadership and authority.
Sadly, the woman will engage a lifelong battle with this sin. It’s part of her sinful nature.
This is exactly what was going on back in Kit’s bedroom . . . now her war room, Sin’s Desire, a satanic, energizing force, described in animal terms—like a lion or tiger, was hiding by the door of my mind. It waited, crouched, ready to attack, and I opened the door, and I desired to rule my husband.
“Why should I turn out the light? I don’t agree with God’s command to honor my husband right now. I could read, write, and polish my nails, plus many other things. It just makes no sense to me.” Thus, my desire to dominate my husband raged a war in my mind.
Paul describes it, “Now if I do what I do not want to do; it is no longer I who do it, but sin that lives in me. So, I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil is in my heart.” Romans 7:17
Rebellion was in my heart; God warned me with a familiar verse: “Behold, rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” Witch? Because I resented God’s command to honor my husbands’ direction? I did not want to turn off the lights; I wanted to read awhile. My husband was being irrational.
My war raged, pulled me down into Satan’s war zone. Down! Down I spiraled until . . . I gained my senses. God saw me as if compared to an idol worshipper; I set my own priorities, and lifted them above those of my husband’s. I honored my goals beyond God’s command.
“For rebellion is as the sin of divination, (idolatry) and supposition is as iniquity and idolatry.” If I kept fighting, God warned again, “stubbornness is as heinousness, immorality, injustice, wickedness, and idolatry.”
STOP! I DO FEAR, REVERENCE, AND HONOR GOD!
“Our God is a Consuming Fire.” Hebrews 12:29
I fear God, which is the beginning (first step toward) of wisdom.
At this crossroad, I could turn on the light, delight Satan, or silently choose to delight my God.
“For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry. God seized the kingdom from Saul, “Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He has also rejected you from being king“
Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.” He is delighted with me every time I bend my will to His. 1 Samuel 15:23
”I confessed my sin of fighting my husband in my private war, gave my desire to dominate my husband to my God and He praised me for surrendering and called it a sacrifice, “to obey is better than sacrifice,” in which He delights, (I sacrificed my plan to Him). 1 Samuel 15.22
My God delighted in me!
“I turned off my lights and slept. The rest of the story is personal between God, and me because my Bill never knew of my war; I did not argue with him, and he loved me more tenderly, because I honored him.
Our Love is an “It’s like Magic Love Affair.” I share a portion of one of Bill’s letters:
“Almost twenty-six years of being your husband . . . how time flies. We have discovered many exciting heights ..together. Our love has grown to great proportions. It has been rewarding to love you, for in return, your love has touched me . . . to the depths of my heart.
Just to know you love me . . . is all I need to know. My sweetheart . . . my lover . . . my wife. . my Kit – I am yours.
I make this affirmation before God: “The truth will set you free.” Today I will honor my husband.
This, another height invites me on my ascent to God’s Design for my life. I will honor Bill’s authority, not dutifully, not hesitantly, but with faith/respect. How will I do so, if I disagree? Silently, and before God, I quote God’s command to honor, to obey; I tell God my fears, claim His approval of, “to obey God is better than sacrifice”.
By faith, I then fling the fear-of-servitude attitude to the wind and give God my gift. He promises that when I surrender my rebellious will to Him or to my husband, I sacrifice to Him; He accepts my surrender from my heart; as my pricy gift to Him. 1 Samuel 15:23
“Alert! When you obey it is better than a sacrifice”
Today I honor my husband, and thereby, impact my sons on their journey to manhood! As I honor their Dad, they relate to it for it bonds them with manhood, for manhood awaits them just around the bend.
Today I will honor my husband
I ask his counsel as from God, listen respectfully, appreciate and honor it, I thrust him to face with a holy God to whom he is accountable! I no longer bear weight of the problem, my husband, and my God bear it for me. I will be at peace as I lay my head on my pillow, then I sleep, a good day.
Today I will honor my husband.
I will not be as the foolish woman whose scorn burns his spirit, like flames leaping at his face, she plucks down her house with her hands, gives extra weights to her husband, and she then carries that weight to her bed where she tosses, sleepless.
Today I Honor my husband, respect his counsel, nor dare I ask counsel of another above that of my husband, for in so doing, I dishonor his wisdom in his own eyes, weaken him in the eyes of others, and he may even suspect that I betray him.
Today I will honor my husband.
I will Honor His Integrity by my dress, for I display his prosperity, dignity and integrity by my dress, so it is with every well-dressed woman. Attractive announces, “I respect, my God, myself and my husband.”
Furthermore, Should I have a hasty errand; I will dress modestly, which protects me from the lustful eyes of evil or good men – who may undress me in their fantasies. I will be my husband’s glory alone.
Today I will honor my husband.
I will shout his honor from the rooftop. Though he needs me not, I will praise him, in the company of others, promote him to the front of the room, and remind him to tell of a recent achievement, of a brilliant scheme in the marketplace or at home, even to tell the family stories. He tells, I listen and God explains the result; “The woman is the glory of the man.”
Today I am that woman in my husband’s life. Suddenly I see his, now, visible crown. Triumphantly, God, as if summarizing all, declares this honor can melt the hardest heart without a word. “How marvelous are His works in all the earth!”
GOD’S WEDDING GIFT
God custom designed, created, and for all time gives His personal wedding gift to every bride and groom on their wedding day.
God deemed it One Flesh Pleasure which stirs and revives, “It’s, Like Magic Love” throughout marriage.
John and Mary Doe, married for several decades, had little or no intimate fun until Mary Doe listened to what God says about His Wedding Gift of one flesh. She sat in my classes, and saw that it is beautiful, God honored, for her pleasure and that it can stir an It’s “Like Magic Love.
Months later, I heard the rest of her story, as told by her husband, John Doe. “She was transformed sexually” and John, so thrilled that he loved Mary more passionately, he remodeled her kitchen, gave her a lovely diamond ring, and he took her on a wonderful vacation, and much more.
God knows the mind and heart of a man, therefore, He commands every wife to submit herself to her husband, endearing her to him. In deference to God’s instructions, I will begin this day longing to become one flesh with my husband.
God says it is just too wonderful. “There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.”
God proposed this one-flesh miracle, one of His most magnificent miracles from the beginning. He proposed it for pleasure, to keep It’s Like Magic Love in marriage, and to give life. He designed Adam’s and Eve’s sensory systems so powerful that they could become one, thrilling to heights of pleasure incomparable to all other, perhaps the grand finale of love, the bonding of a husband and wife, as nothing else can. Both gives all of himself to the other, and God blesses it, sometimes giving them the miracle of a new life.
God chronicles it as the climax of all creation’s experiences, as a final event on day Six of creation, He gave Eve to Adam, married them, qualifying them for, God’s one flesh wedding gift. We hear the wedding theme, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:25.
It may have happened this way. God designed and placed them in an exquisite bridal chamber, which He made for their new home, and watched them play, narrating this holy, beautiful event, for all future peoples to hear, Genesis 2:25 tells, “They were both naked, the man and his wife and were not ashamed . . .” One flesh Pleasure pure and lofty “And God said, This, it is very good.”
Granted, God consistently respects the one flesh relationship between husband and wife, chronicling it as a certain man knew his wife. Through ages of time, all couples look forward to enjoying each other in the marriage bed, which God ordained; men write books, extolling the pleasure, none has ever, will ever be able to fully describe its mystery.
Dr. Marie N. Robinson, sexual counselor, gives a clinical description of sensual responses of the body in this mysterious, exhilarating one flesh relationship.
“Within seconds after arousal, the blood supply in the veins and arteries lying close to the skin increases, causing the body to become flushed and the temperature to rise slightly …The mind and body are concentrated full mounting sexual feelings and exclude all else…In the moment just preceding orgasm, muscular tension suddenly rises to a point where if the one flesh instinct were not in operation, it would become physically unendurable.
In expectation of this pleasure, woman so desires man that she agrees to love, honor, obey and live with him for life, while. Her husband’s desire is so compelling, that God mandates to her husband to satisfy her desires. “Let her husband render to wife due benevolence…; the wife hath not power of her own body…”; “Let her be as a loving hind and pleasant roe…” Translated as, deer in heat. Furthermore He continues, “Be ready when your mate wants you[ii]! Do not refuse, unless you agree to fast and pray for a season.”
THERE’S TOO MUCH POWER IN ONE BODY TO CONTROL!”
The frigid wife may look on her husband as a sex fiend, some even accuse of rape. Naturally, she longs to climax, but crashes on the brink, sometimes burning with desire Dr. Robinson, M.D. Sexual counselor, concludes from her case histories:
“Orgasm . . . is the very thing a cold woman is unable to have . . . certain kinds of cold women may experience a type response which should terminate in orgasm, but the final experience eludes them. At the final juncture the body, despite an agonizing need to come to a climax refuses to respond; it draws back, goes dead.”
Where is the problem?” Answer: (Good News) “Between my ears.” Unless there is some physical problem, this woman chooses despair. 65% [iii] of all married women do not climax in the one flesh pleasure by their own choice.[iv] The most common cause of her coldness is immature attitude. A wife blames her lack of pleasure on her husband. If she contends with childish conflicts and adult responsibilities; if she never learned to give and take; to forgive and forget, thinks fearful or hateful thoughts about men in general and especially her husband, she will never find true pleasure in the one flesh experience. She actually turns off her own fulfillment on the brink of exhilaration.
How does woman turn off her pleasure? She fears, resents, thinks hateful, hurting thoughts about her husband, feels fatigued, or hates her husband’s love play; the list is as long as her imagination. Orgasm at its onset is impossible for her.
She fears surrendering her body in total abandonment to her husband. In this picture she really punishes herself, killing her own pleasure. She fears nakedness because her body is not beautiful. A certain sixty-four year old lady boasted that her husband never saw her nude body. Wicked false modesty!
From all these evolves the myth, often found floating among many women that husbands are sex fiends, that women do not physically long for intimacy as men do.. (The foolish woman plucked her house down with her hands.)[v]
Looking at the joyous side, in most cases, it is the mature woman who can experience full orgasm. Since she is experienced, she can break through these barriers under certain conditions. If she bears the seal of maturity having successfully weathered the storms of childhood and youth and has come unscarred into full womanhood with all its pleasures and responsibilities,[vi] then these pleasures are hers.
Dr. Wheat, Physician and Sexual counselor explains: a wife should understand how the Sensory System, the path to pleasure, works. “She has three interlocking, but separate phases of physical responses; excitement, desire and orgasm. Desire turns on the neural systems of the brain. Excitement opens genital blood vessels. Orgasm reflexes are contraction of the certain genital muscles. She controls her responses, either turning on to full power, reaching full vaginal orgasm, or she turns off, going dead at the brink.”
Still others battle with – is it moral to experiment?. “What is considered moral between a married couple? Physicians and rabbis agree that nothing is immoral, indecent or undesirable in married love provided it is agreeable to both parties and there are no harmful effects. If a wife finds a certain aspects of the one flesh relationship unrewarding or unpleasant, she should not suffer in martyred silence.”
“A husband should not be ashamed to suggest innovations nor should a woman for that matter. The one flesh experience is the language of love. Each of us needs to be freed from the prison of our aloneness. The perfect one flesh experience does this and more. In marriage it is a spiritual and emotional blending of a man and his wife. At those special moments the universe belongs to them. No one else exists.”[vii]
“These experiments from time to time take husbands and wives to heights before unexplored. If his wife is frigid, a husband in desperation may try anything to please her. If she resents his play, he loses hope. Given freedom to experiment, if it is not fulfilling for both, he certainly will drop it. “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed is undefiled. If a man cannot give his wife a full pleasure, he feels empty, defeated.” [viii]
The sensuous wife may dress to tease, whatever fits her mood, always uses perfumes, may sprinkle glitter in her hair, on her body or breasts, or whatever delights her husband; she perfumes her bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon, inviting “Come, let us take our fill of love until morning. Let us delight ourselves with love.” Thus she allures him.
The alluring wife eagerly plans to make love, as she plans clothes to wear, places to go, things to do and foods to cook. If her husband desires her often, she plans to make love every day or night, as the loving hind or tender roe. Conclusively, It is up to me to reach total fulfillment with my husband, as God designed my body to do.
Today I make these affirmations.
- I will long to become one flesh with my husband.
- I will give and take as all mature wives do.
- I will forgive and not hold grudges to take to our marriage bed.
- We can love or sleep, as each desires.
- Today I will long to become one flesh with my husband
- I will let all fear, resentment, fatigue, hateful thoughts and feelings from my veins. I have only time for love and exhilarating pleasure. “God hath not given me the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”[ix]
- I will be at peace and in tune with my body for exhilarating pleasure.
- I will begin this day longing to become one flesh with my husband. I will think of the honor, the purity of this pleasure, which God designed my body to enjoy. Today I will long to become one flesh with my husband. Our thoughts of each other will be those of love.
- Today I will yearn for my husband’s touch.
- I will be uninhibited and will encourage experimentation, knowing that marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled in God’s eyes. We will soar to the stars together.
- Today I will give my husband every exciting thrill, tell him every love phrase that any man would/could ever hear.
- As I play freely, I will enjoy him, soaring to exciting new heights. I will take that giant step to exhilarating one flesh, pleasure that God designed me to feel.
- Today I surrender my spirit, and body in full abandons, as an eagle to the air, or as a fish to the sea, I will play freely creatively, until both climaxes and relaxes in total fulfillment – knowing that this is God’s will for me. “Thank God for this sacred play time with my husband. “There is no difference between the secular and the sacred for a God fearing wife.”[x]
I care for you and fear God; for that reason I, a very private person, share my heart and life with you though I am a private, proper lady; I sacrifice my dignity, my pride to be real with you; please do not tread on my name. Do not tread on Christ’s name far greater, Jesus Christ laid His royalty, honor, riches … everything on the line for us all so that He can walk with us in every experience
If I leave you thinking, “She’s crazy, my life is not a fairy tale where all live happily ever”, you are right. God says, amen too.
BUT, on those impossible days, He commands us to fix it.
When, I dishonor my husband, I sin against God, and want to “fix” it. (Steps to get It’s Like Magic Love back.)
- Humble self
- Repent to God,
- Admit how I did not honor my husband
- Ask for forgiveness of God and of husband
How I wish that this dialogue with sin was more, ever, but sin’s desire waits by the door of my mind 24/7, and God does, in mercy forgive, and I defeat Satan.
God’s Bible formula helps to heal the hurts when I dishonor my Bill. As we forgive, God makes a miracle, which I cannot explain, but that’s what God does best, makes forgiving miracles, so that of we can love each other more thus keeping and enjoying our “magic love.”
Letters/thanks from reverencing Wives/ Husbands:
Many thanks for helping us. I don’t know what you told my wife, but it has worked a miracle in our life. Good to have my life and lover back. It’s not the first time you have helped us.
You present your material so that wives want to reverence their husbands
As we talked, we began to express our frustration to find how to fix what is between us. I have searched for years to find why. I asked him to forgive me, he held me in his arms. I felt like a virgin, pure and clean, ready to give I myself to him to drink fully of my love.
Having reverence for my husband was not something that I really understood and it was certainly was not part of my daily routine . . . until I read Kit’s book. She explained to me how that reverencing was part of God’s plan for our marriage, and commanded it of me. When I reverence my husband, I reverence God, and when I honor my husband, I honor God.
After reading Kit’s book and putting into practice what I learned, I began to see a change in our marriage (and continue to see to this day). Our conversations go deeper and more meaningful, and our love for each other grows stronger each day.
But most importantly, our relationship with the Lord is growing, and He is being glorified through the strengthening of our marriage.
Your Ladies Retreats, what a blessing you have been to my life. My commitment to reverence my husband because of you has built a thirty-eight year marriage that is still growing and refining, very fulfilling and rewarding.
Enjoy your method of presentation. You have an enjoyable way of telling us what we need to know. You give us the truth in such a way that we feel we can go home, and love our husbands better. I know I am benefiting from your wisdom.
Staff Pastor attended my class “ You have a very clever and unique way of indirectly showing men what their responsibilities are”.
Am grateful for the Lord’s leading in finding out about Mrs. Schroeder’s book and her special and wonderful outlook for wives and husbands, anxiously waiting publication.
I thank the Lord for bringing you into my life. I am learning more about reverencing my husband. It isn’t always easy, but I am becoming convinced, it is absolutely necessary.
I can readily see that society wants to impress on a woman that if she has as much or more education, she should not have to stay home with kids, nor listen to her husband’s counsel.
“I am very interested in your book. Perhaps you need to go ahead with the first printing—even before it is perfect. There are a lot of Christian women who need the material now.”
My husband will be taking position of band director at the college this fall, and many of the things you covered will be a help to me as I seek to honor and support him.
Thank you for counseling and praying with me. . .you have helped me realize my insensitivity to my husband, and my need to trust him and draw him out, and my need to trust. I love him; I do not know how he feels about everything that’s happening. I really want to give him the freedom to be what he wants to be.
I want you to know how much you have helped me. The things you told me keep me hoping. My husband is a leader, but often non-committal, now I know that he did not want to contend with me, and stepped back. I repented, and God does show me my own heart,.
I want you to know that you have helped me and our marriage. To be able to ask my husband what should be done, and not to worry, to leave it to him, and to trust God, gives me more peace of mind, and; I see him grow from insensitive, to sensitive, hold his chest higher, as he sees us following him to take care of us. He’s a stronger leader, just as God intended, I no longer send folk to him for a decision, and they bypass me and go to him first, they know he is our leader. I have learned the best lesson of my life, that to reverence my husband,
With much love in Jesus
“I am very interested in your book. Perhaps you need to go ahead with the first printing—even before it is perfect. There are a lot of Christian women who need the material now.”
My husband will be taking position of band director at the college this fall, and many of the things you covered will be a help to me as I seek to honor and support him.
Adams. Jay E Competent to Counsel Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company
Adeline, Helen B. Fascinating Womanhood New York, Bntam
Barnes, Albert Barnes Notes, London Baker Books
Hana fore, Peter The Reagans . A Political Portrait
McMillen, s.i., None of These Diseases New Jersey
Mornell, Pierre Passive Men Wild Women, Ballantyne Books 1984
Naifeh, Steven and Smith, Greg White Why Men Cant Open Up Overcoming Men’s Fear of Intimacy ClarksonN. Potter
Robinson, Marie N. The Power of Sexual Surrender NAL.
Vine, W.E An Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words Nashville. Royal
Wheat, Ed. and Wheat, Gaye Intended for Pleasure. Revel 1981
Zig Ziglar See You At the Top Gretna, Pelican Publishing Company 1979
Drakeford, John W. Games Husbands and Wives Play Brandon Press, Nashville, Tenn.
Freedom of Forgiveness David Augsburger htttps://books.google.com/…/The_Freedom_of_Forgiventps://books.google.com
Dr. Augsburger combines personal testimonies with Scripture for a highly practical and motivating guide to applying forgiveness in your life.
Acres of Diamonds Acres of Diamonds (Life-Changing Classics) – Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com › Books › Self-Help › Motivational
Acres of Diamonds (Life-Changing Classics) (Life-Changing Classics (Audio)): Russell H. Conwell, John Wanamaker: 9780937539781: Amazon.com: Books.
[iii] Dr. Robinson, sexual counselor and clinician claims that
[iv] Power of Sexual Surrender, Dr Marie N. Robinson
[x]I Corinthians 10:31 command, “Whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all to the glory of God.” God watches approvingly, Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honorable in all and the bed is undefiled.”